Men and Women are we really that different? (Double Standards)
Last time I wrote I spoke about stereotypes in relationships. This is part two of “Men and Women: Are we really that different? I suggest you take a look at that first if you have not already. https://loveisconfusing.com/2017/08/07/menwomen-are-we-really-that-different/. We’ll wait for you……..Okay there are things women can get away with that guys can’t get away with and vice versa. There are a bunch of them to be honest but I’ll try to talk about the ones that pertains to relationships and dating in general. I will list four double standards. Two for men and two for women but instead of proving them wrong I will expose the “hypocrisy” in them.
- Women can beat or assault a man. (Unprovoked)
- Men can talk to a bunch of women but women are labeled if they do.
- If a woman turns down a guy over looks its her preference. If a guy does he’s shallow, Judgmental
- Men can put their friends over woman but frowns on a woman for doing the same.
It’s okay for a woman to put her hands on a man.
I wanted to talk about this one first since it’ll probably be the most controversial. This is mainly in a lot of young couples but sometimes there are a lot of play fighting. I see a lot of girls just hit guys a lot of the time unprovoked. Smacking, pushing and even punching guys. It be the short girls a lot of the time too.(Look at me using stereotypes..the irony) Its usually all fun and games until that guy retaliates. Now hey I’m not into any boy or man putting hands on any female. I grew up with all woman and I would go bananas if anyone harmed them but if she punches him the face and he decides to hit her back who’s the victim?
I’ve even seen a man get physically abused in a relationship. It may sound funny or weird to hear but it does happen. If the guy didn’t do what his girlfriend wanted she would grip him up, smack him or punch him and at times throw things at him and belittle him. Through all this I have never seen him retaliate. He would sheepishly put his head down take it and apologize. Now they aren’t together any more which is good for him but what if he called the police? Would they take him seriously for getting beat up by a woman half his size? Probably not. Or worse would if he finally said enough is enough and retaliated. Where would he be now? I can answer that question. He would be either locked up and have an assault on his record or he could be dead or injured if she has brothers or a father that like me would go crazy if a female in my family was harmed. Crazy right? Just saying men can be a punching bag too.
Men can be players woman can’t
I referenced this double standard in part one. As men we can talk to whoever we want, flirt with whoever we want and have sex with whoever we want and everything is cool. As a matter of fact we get pats on a back. High fives from the boys. Parades….well not parades but it damn sure feels like it. This double standard is so normal that even woman subconsciously abide by it. Lets say someone my age( I’m 24 by the way) is getting into some adult conversation with one another and she asks me what my “body count” is. By the way if I have to explain what a body count is you are too young for this blog. Shoo go away. Back to my example, now say that I tell her I have only slept with one woman. Instead of thinking the best she may think the worse. She may think i’m lame. Not sexually experienced enough. Not “packing.” In her head something has to be wrong and she may even lose a little interest. Even think back to high school or college you probably wanted that popular boy that talked to every girl. Don’t be lying……Woman like men that are liked by other women.(Say that 5 times fast) Its just the way it is.
Now on the flip side if she says she slept with just 20 men i’m already labeling her. I’m already thinking she is a freak. Some guys might think she is a whore or that she is “easy.” It’s very unfair. A girl can be a virgin never did anything with anyone but if she talks to more than one guy or has a reputation she is looked down on and judged. That guy in school is the popular boy while the girl doing the same thing is the school hoe. Hell a guy can cheat and everything is okay but a girl cheats on him and his whole world collapses and she is now every horrible name in the book. My personal opinion on this is that I feel as though if woman wants to have sex, hey its her body as long as she protects herself, same goes for men as well of course.
Women are allowed to judge
I have the weirdest feeling that this topic might actually be more controversial than the first one. Typically if a guy turns down a girl for her looks, weight, race, bust size etc. He is usually labeled as shallow, or judgmental or he only cares about sex. Now if a girl turns down a guy because of the same thing it’s just her “preference.” Now this isn’t me whining about being turned down before anything like that. Trust me this isn’t sour grapes. It’s just something I’ve noticed a lot. I particularly feel bad for overweight men and also some short guys. Now I love my bbws, I really do but I know a lot of big woman that won’t even consider a big guy because again that’s not her preference. However she would flip out if a man was to turn her down because of her size.
Short guys sometimes get the shorter end of the stick….pun intended. There’s a bunch a women I know that won’t even date a guy that’s under 6 feet tall. Hell it’s a lot of short girls that don’t even want short guys stealing all the tall men away from the taller girls. But in women’s defense this goes both ways because there are plenty of guys who simply won’t date a woman taller than them. Now i’m not saying that woman should just date a guy they aren’t into just because that would be the nice thing to do. No. If that’s not your preference that is perfectly fine. Everyone has their preference but don’t make someone feel guilty for not accepting you for who you are but you aren’t willing to accept someone.
Men can have friends. Women can’t.
Now this usually applies to more controlling men but it something I hear about. I’m sure most woman has been with at least one guy who constantly puts his friend or friends over you. He goes out with his friends constantly to party, watch the game, get drunk you know guy stuff. But as soon as you are going out with your girlfriends its a problem. He gets in his feelings. He feels some type of way about it. To make it worse the whole time you are out he wont let you enjoy it. He constantly texts you, wanting to know where you are and who you are with and what you are all up too. He hangs out with female friends that he is “totally” not into and gets angry if you yourself has a guy friend. Or sometimes won’t even let you have one at all. He accuses you of cheating if you hang with the guy friend yet he can go out to strip clubs with his guy friends or hang out one one with his female friends.
I’m not like that at all but I do know of some friends that somewhat fits that description. It’s very hypocritical to say the least. It usually tells two things though. Either he is very insecure or he may be cheating but wants to blame you to feel better about himself. Some guys have that “bros over hoes” mentality where they feel as though they have to put their friends over their girlfriends or they will get judged for it. I think you have to have a balance between your partner and your friends. You also have to have trust because if you can’t trust her while she is out with her friends or out with a guy friend. Then you have to ask yourself why are you even with her to begin with?
This was part two and maybe I’ll turn this into a series or something. The stereotype post was pretty well received. I don’t know how people will like this one though, but I did enjoy writing this. I agree with Jay Colby. Check him out at https://jaycolby.com. He has great content. He commented on my previous post that “This is an interesting conversation we need to have more often.” We don’t really talk about it much because these things are pretty much normal now. These stereotypes and double standard are pretty much an unwritten law at this point so we don’t really put too much thought into it. As I said before society tries to separate us so much that we forget how similar that we really are. Even some of the double standards I listed could arguably go the other way, But I hope you enjoyed the content. Like, share and comment. Remember “Love is confusing but we’ll figure this out together.”