How Phones Can Complicate A Relationship

   Before I started blogging, I had just came off of a social media “break”. No snap chat, no facebook, Twitter etc. I felt as though it was becoming a huge distraction. I did it for 6 months. The first month was hell. I would unlock my phone and without thinking go straight for the facebook app even though I had deactivated my account. I realized that, like many people, I was addicted to it. Realizing this fueled my desire to seperate from it. 

   Fast forward to now, I use it quite regularly, mainly because I have to with this blog. It doesn’t run my life and instead of using social media to pass time I use it as a tool. Now what does this have to do with love? Alot actually. I need you to put the phones down and unplug yourself from the Matrix. Phones are killing relationships. The crazy thing is I’m not even talking about talking on the phone. I’m refering to texting and social media. People have become closer through through these outlets, but at the same time distant. People simply cannot communicate anymore; at least not face to face. 


   I know I know, everyone loves texting, myself included. Texting is quick and easy, it doesn’t take much effort, and it has changed the whole way we communicate. We live in a world now where things are over analyzed through text. If your partner texts you “ILY” instead of I love you, you will probably flip out; I would too. Its to the point now that people don’t just argue over texts, they now argue over emojis. “Why did she text you a smily face?” or “Your good morning didn’t have a heart emoji, do you still love me?” 

   People seriously break up over things like that. Texting is great when you don’t have the time to talk face to face, but it should not be your main source of communication. There are some couples who live in the same home sleeping back to back on their phones texting each other instead of talking. I had an ex years ago who would not talk when we would get into disputes. We could be in the same room and she would text me her issues instead of telling me verbally, which of course drove me crazy. 

   Also with texting, you can’t hear the other persons tone and one missed comma or missed word can change the entire message. I can not tell you how many arguments in past relationships or with people in general that I have had because either me or them misunderstood a text. At least over the phone you can hear a persons tone to know if they are being sarcastic, mad, happy, seductive etc. When you are just texting, sometimes you have to assume and we all know what assuming does. 

Social Media

    I recently had a friend ask me, “Why don’t you put your girlfriend up on facebook? Omg ya’ll be so lowkey.” At first that confused me, why should I HAVE to put her up? Does putting her up for strangers to see legitimize my relationship? I mean anyone close to me knows who she is and have all met her at least once. I didn’t understand at first, but then  I thought about it and realized that its the norm now. Everything is put on display on social media, including relationships. Don’t get me wrong its nothing bad with putting someone up on social media, but it doesn’t prove that you love them or don’t love them.

    There’s so much drama that can derail a relationship on social media. Both partners worrying about who liked who’s picture.  Why does he have women commenting on his status? Why does she have guys in her Dm? Then you spend the whole day posting indirect status’s, arguing on social media, or arguing over the person with some one else and you have not even called or seen your partner to talk about it. Now this may all sound funny or ridiculous, especially to my older audience who probably does not even have to deal with this. But this does happen and it happens very often.

   Maybe the worst thing is when people put their partners up with them together or have a status up saying “I love my boo he/she is the best” Or something similar. You look at it and you react to it. You compare their relationship to yours. “They look so happy.” “I wish my relationship was like that.” “He/She doesn’t do or say things like that about me.” You think those things not knowing the hardships that the couple may have been through. Not knowing about their argument before she posted or knowing how rocky their relationship may be. After, you see your partner and all of a sudden your not satified anymore because your comparing your relationship to someone elses because it seems perfect on the surface.

   Now this isn’t a anti social media post cause it does have its positives. Too much of anything will eventually become a bad thing and too much texting and social media could be detrimental to your relationship. When you are with that special someone, put the phone down and give each other attention and communicate. When my girlfriend and I are together, we literally lose our phones in the house at times. We usually put them down somewhere and are so focused on spending time with each other that we basically forget about them. Of course everyone is different, but I encourage you to put the phone down. Give that person your undivided attention, you only live once. Do you really want to spend most of your time following other peoples lives on social media. Just food for thought. Have a great day. Like, Share and Subscribe and remember “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together.”

34 thoughts on “How Phones Can Complicate A Relationship

  1. Everything you’ve said here I could really identify with – it’s so true! I went camping in the Australian outback for 9 days and didn’t have a phone signal at all for all that time – and it was fantastic! It would be hard to live without them normally but as you say, there are ways to manage it like not looking at it after 9pm, keeping them out the bedroom etc.

  2. It has always annoyed me so much that people showcase their relationship on facebook. Like, why? We are too much on our screen I agree but at the same time, our screens are super convenient. It is always handy to be able to call someone if need be

    1. Yeah people like to fake it on social media but you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

  3. Oh yeah, I do try to put my phone away when I’m with my family. Sometimes I’ll take a photo or two, but then I’ll put it back in my purse. My husband and I also watch TV shows together, so I have it away then as well.

    1. Yeah its weird, when everyone plans something out but everyone’s on their phone. It’s like why even come out? Lol

  4. I hear you. Blogging has made us so connected to our phones so it really is important that we take a break from it when needed as otherwise we will stop communicating with others in real life!

    1. Yes and it can happen so easily that we don’t even realize how much of our day is spent gawking at a screen.

  5. We have started setting an alarm at night to remind us when it is time to put our phones and devices away for the night. It is easy to get lost in social media and ignore each other.

  6. Your article holds a lot of truth. Social media is a huge distraction and very addicting. Its important for us to realize what we have right in front of us rather than our phones.

  7. Social media is making it hard for personal connections. Definitely putting the phone down helps us all get back in reality and into the moment.

  8. I agree! I think social media can be dangerous for relationships. Sometimes, you need to announce to the world what you are doing.

  9. This is so true! I believe it’s about time to limit the use of phone and start talking with people personally and invest time in relationship.

  10. I love your post. It is such a great read. Social media and the smart phone has let us communicate with one another anywhere, but also split us further apart. Thanks for sharing.

  11. I suppose the lesser it is on social media, deeper the love is. Putting it everywhere seems just so superficial & root cause of even more troubles.

  12. I am a social media person but my husband isnt. So saved us a lot of trouble i agree that phones should be away when you are together physically.

  13. My husband and I have a rule to put all electronics away once we enter the bedroom. It’s been SO nice and has changed a lot for us.

  14. Such a great reminder to learn how to disconnect with the social media world. Indeed, couples should have an agreement when to disconnect and have quality time for each other.

  15. I’m very culpable in this aspect as I love to show off my relationships on social media and I’m also very addicted to social media, but one of these days I’m gonna try to stay off socials and see how it plays out. Nice share.

    1. Everyone is different. Social media isn’t bad. Putting someone up isn’t bad its all about how you use social media.

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