Love and Sex: The Antimony
“You can have sex with someone you love. But just because you have sex with someone doesn’t mean you love them.”
Sexual Attraction in Relation to Love
Sounds simple enough right? That’s common sense it’s something everyone should just know. It doesn’t need to be elaborated on……….right? If that’s something you may have been thinking. Then why are the two so heavily linked with one another? When you think of sex you think of love and vice versa. When honestly the two don’t have much to do with each other. The reason why humans have intercourse is to create new life. Which is also the function of countless other animals. Where does love tie into this? It doesn’t at all.
One of biggest issues when it comes to love, dating and relationships is this……people confuse sexual attraction for love. They confuse sexual attraction for caring. Seriously it works both way. The woman thinks the man cares about her because he tells her she is sexy, gorgeous or even beautiful. The man looks at her sees something he likes and now he feels like he loves her or care about her. You ever see those old cartoons when the guy sees the attractive woman and his heart beats out of his chest to let the audience know how much in love he is at the sight of her?
We automatically associate the lust with love in the cartoon. We don’t think twice about it because you know…..it’s an innocent cartoon. How about every movie you have ever seen that has anything to do with two characters liking each other. It all usually starts with one character being sexually attracted to the other. Then by the end of it they are romanticly involved with one another. We are conditioned to assume that sexual attraction means the person cares when in reality they only care about one thing.
Why is it so hard to seperate the two?
Well, sex is a form of a drug. Anything thats makes us very happy or helps us temporarily escape from our realities we tend to cling too. Sex is probably as additive as sugar, cocaine or that netflix show that you binge watch. It makes you happy. It gives you pleaure. For those moments it helps you escape. Its a form of a high and once you get it you want more and more. Its a powerful drug. Its the reason porn is so popular. It’s a reason why sex is pretty much in everything if you really think about it. Commercials, shows movies etc. Sex sells.
However the difference between sex and other forms of drugs is that you have to have another person to engage in it. So you know what happens? You associate your need of sex with that particular person or people. That person becomes your drug. You then feel like you need them which makes you think you care or love them. That behavior is all around you. It’s not like its something that has to be taught. You see it all the time and as you grow up you think of it as normal behavior. That person in high school says “hi,your cute.” You automatically think wow that person cares about me.
Confusing Love and Sex
People really think sex is love and yes making love is a thing. However you can’t make love unless it’s someone you actually care about. It’s a combination of the two rather then one causing the other to happen. Just because you love someone or care about someone doesn’t mean you want to have sex with them. You care about your family but hopefully you aren’t trying to come at them and before you say well that’s a different kind of love. I believe love is love no matter who you are. Just because society deems that person as very sexually attractive doesn’t mean you should be pulling out the wedding ring. Or singing praises of how she/he is the one for you.
People’s ability to love or be loved is alot of the time based off looks or sexual attraction. What I mean by that is people that are deemed less attractive have a harder time finding someone. People subconsciously and even sometimes consciously is like “hey you’re cool and all, we got things in common and you’re such a great person but you are not sexually attractive to me so I can’t see myself loving/dating you.”
Now we call people like that shallow but we are all guilty of this. We don’t even think about it. There can be someone that meshs with you completely. Even laughs at your corny jokes and likes the same weird things that you would only think you liked. You completely disregard them. Where as if she/he was attractive to you. You would be head over hills for them. Now look this isn’t me judging you for liking attractive people. Your preference is your preference. I’m just explaining how easily it is to confuse the urge for sex for the urge to love.
Love is confusing. Sex is one of the many reasons if not the biggest reason why that is. However sex and love both stand alone. They are not the same. They aren’t even similar. But when they overlap its hard to think of one without the other. Its also a huge reason why people tend to confuse obsession with love. It’s something that won’t likely change its ingraved into society. However that doesn’t mean that you can’t consciously seperate the two. Happy Holidays! Like, Share and if you really like my content Subscribe your email below to be apart of my email list it would really help out and also you get notified everytime I post. Again Happy Holidays and remember, “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together.”