I always say the relationship doesn’t start until your first serious argument or disagreement. Because that usually tells you how the rest of the relationship will go. How you and your partner reacts and handles this problem will reveal things about eachother that you may previously hadn’t known. For just that reason alone I don’t consider disputes a bad thing. If anything a healthy dose of arguments can be a great building block for a healthy relationship. I see couples who say they never argue or have disputes then when the first problem arises they break up quickly. However of course too much of anything becomes a bad thing and arguing is no different.
The problem with disagreements aren’t the disagreements that you may have. It’s how you and the person handle the disagreements. If you get angry and start screaming at person calling them names, yelling obscenities then thats probably the wrong way to go about it. Of course I understand that everyone’s personalities are different people react to things differently. Some people are more…”explosive” than others. However there are ways to go about solving arguments outside of the usual verbal attacks on eachother which is the point of this post. “Three ways to help solve an Argument between you and your Partner”.
Space
Sometimes when an argument pops off the initial reaction is chaos. Alot of emotion, anger, voice raising, all that jazz. Sometimes the person you love can bring the worst out of you or you can bring the worst out of them….it happens. Before the argument reaches it’s fevers pitch try to get some space. Get away for a second to calm down. The reason I say this is because when you are angry you are prone to say or do things that you may regret. You can’t take back words. It gives you a little time to sit back and think about why you are even having this dispute in the first place.
After you get space you may feel a little different about the whole situation. You’ll be able to choose your words better. Hell you might not even be mad any more and will be more likely to talk things out peacefully. It’s nothing wrong with taking a quick walk to clear your head. Or even shutting your phone down for a couple of hours just to calm down. However eventually you’ll have to face your partner so also keep that in mind. However there may be situations where you may not being able to get away. Or the person won’t let you get away to get space and proceed. That leads me to number 2.
Listening to your partner
When you are going through your little quarrels with bae and both of you are trying to get your point across at the same time. It doesn’t go anywhere. Yes yes I know a lot of you are people that HAS to have the last word in an argument but alot of times if you just simply listen to what the other person is saying it could help you both find a solution to whatever your problems are. And by listening not just hearing the words but actually pay attention to what they are saying, Their hand and body movements and their tone. You have to understand them. You have to understand what they are arguing about.
Now after you actually listen to whatever concerns they may have and also understand their point of view. Even if you still don’t agree because you listened you now have a better counter argument. You can tell he or she why they are wrong. Or why you don’t agree with their opinion. And because you let them say everything they had to say. While you are making your counter point, your partner will usually let you speak(hopefully) so you can now get your point across to them. This way you are both voicing your concerns like adults rather than two angry children. And hopefully you both can find a common ground. Which leads me into my final point.
Make sure the argument is resolved!
This is very important. If you let the argument linger it could cause serious problems. If you feel as though your partner isn’t giving you enough attention and you argue about it but it doesn’t get resolved. For one thing you probably still aren’t getting the attention from the person are you? On top of that it’s an argument that’s going to keep popping up every time you’re mad.
Hell you’ll have new arguments and you’ll still pull out that “two month old” argument on top of it. Arguments in a relationship needs closure.
Whether it’s with an apology from someone. Or BOTH of you acknowledging that things have to change that way it won’t lead to future arguments. Then afterwards you can cuddle. Laugh about it and maybe even have some make up sex.*Shrugs*
In conclusion
Relationships are tough but it’s nothing wrong with making things a little simpler. All couples argue It’s gonna happen but like I said earlier. It’s how you and your partner handle the arguments. That’s what really matters at the end of the day. Like, Share and Subscribe and remember “Love is confusing but we’ll get through it together.”