I feel like when it comes to relationships. A lot of problems can be avoided by simply keeping things between you two. Little things tend to escalate when you add other people into the situation. Whether it’s your parents, friends or whoever. Sometimes they may not exactly have you or your relationship’s best interest in mind when you vent and get them involved. And sometimes they do but indirectly causes issues that drives a wedge between you and your partner. However I believe there are exceptions to every rule. And before I start I will go over them just so we are clear.
*Abuse of any kind should always reported. If the actions of the person becomes toxic you should definitely get people involved and possibly remove yourself from the situation. Also marriage counselors and relationship coaches or anyone qualified to deal with relationship issues. I believe are allowed to be involved your relationship.*
Okay now on to the topic of why you shouldn’t get people involved in your relationships.
You May Forgive….Family and Friends Won’t
A lot of times when people get into relationship issues the first thing they will do is call their friends and tell them all the horrible things their partner may have did and may have said to them. They will tell them how “done” they are with the relationship and with the person. Then they will make up with each other be all lovey dovey again.
And then wonder why when they go out with they friend that they friend doesn’t want to talk or really be around their bf/gf. If a female friend of mines calls me crying talking about how her bf cheated on her. Or did some fuck boi shit to her. If they make up a week later. I’m still going be angry at the man cause that’s my friend. And people are protective over people thats close to them.
It gets even worse with family. Because that tends to be a closer bond. If everytime I got into a argument with my girlfriend I picked up the phone to call my mother or sisters to tell them about the arguments and tell them all the bad things that she has done. We’ll make up. But all my mom and sister knows is that my girlfriend doesn’t do this or doesn’t do that.
It would cause awkward situations if they were to ever meet. Especially if I was planning to marry her. Seriously, imagine a girl telling her father that she’s been cheated on or disrespected. Then later on saying she’s going to marry him and that he’s changed. The father is not going to want to hear that at all!
They May Want Your Partner
Everyone in this world isn’t your friend and everyone does not want you to be great. You come across a lot of envious people in this world and sometimes those people are the people that claim to be your girlfriends or your homie. You’ll come to them to vent and they will tell you to leave that person and how they don’t deserve you. Or how you can do better.
But they don’t tell you that cause they care. They tell you that because they are envious of your relationship. You may not even vent to them. They may just come to you and tell you negative things the person did or posted constantly trying to cause a rift between you and your partner.
Then when you and them break up. All of a sudden your friend and your ex are best friends. Hanging out and talking then later on you get the “sorry, but me and your ex are dating. I don’t know how it happened. Things just happened so fast….we still cool?”
They May Have Bad Advice Or The Wrong Advice
Not everyone has good advice when it comes to YOUR relationship. And there are a bunch of reasons why. Some people when they vent they don’t tell the whole story. Or they just paint themselves in a positive light. So the advice you give them might not be the most accurate. Some people gives advice based off their own relationship not realizing every couple is different and handles their problems a different way.
There are some people who gives advice based off emotion or their individual experience. Maybe they were hurt by someone and because they were hurt they may urge you to leave the person when a problem arises not wanting to even know the whole story or context of the story.
The thing is unless the person is around you and your partner 24/7 they’ll never know the full story or the whole context of your problems. So a lot of times it could be good advice but at the same time the wrong advice for the situation or couple.
They Just Want You To Break Up
There are some people that just simply want you to break up with your partner. Everyone doesn’t want to see you happy. You could have a friend that you used to spend a lot of time with you that’s now angry with you because you spend more time with your partner.
They could purposely give you bad advice with the intent of separating the both of you. There are people who may not personally like your girlfriend or boyfriend for whatever reason and would rather see you apart so they won’t have to deal with them.
Some people see you in a happy fulfilling relationship and just want to ruin it. Whether it’s out of loneliness or jealousy. In some cases there’s people out here that want to break you up simply because they want to be with you. You can have that “best-friend” that tells you break up with you partner and then shortly after they try to come at you. To be honest I know with my female audience there’s is at least one man that tried to do this to you.
In Conclusion
Everyone doesn’t have your best interest in heart. The more people you have involved in your relationship. The more fragile it becomes. There’s nothing wrong with asking a close friend for advice from time to time but you have to check their motives. Are they giving advice to help your relationship or to destroy it? A healthy relationship grows through healthy communication between you and your partner. Not you, your partner, and your mother or you, your partner, and your best friend. Like, Share and Subscribe and remember “love is confusing but we’ll get through it together”