Dating nowadays is so much simpler but at the same time so much more complicated. We have access to more options. We don’t even have to leave our couch to look for someone. Back then you had to go to bars or clubs. Maybe your friend puts you on to someone they think may be good for you. Or maybe you seen someone at work or in the neighborhood and you try your best cheesy pick up line and hope to get the digits.
Now there are things such as dating apps. Which is funny because back then people who used them were labeled as weirdos, creeps and people who didn’t have any game. Now it’s completely normal…..but I digress. There’s not only dating sites but also in last 10 years or so social media has tooken over. Dating is now happening in the “DM’s” of popular social media sites from Instagram to Snapchat. People can now meet the person of their dreams on their couch eating icecream while swiping their thumbs. Neat right??
However because there are so many options. There are so many more dangers. Modern dating can drive people insane. Catfishing, “Ghosting”, “Exposing”, Getting used for either sex or money, or even just getting your time wasted in general are dangers you can experience in the dating game. With so many risks when it comes to dating how can you stay sane in the dating game?
NEVER ASSUME LOYALTY
If you and that person aren’t officially together. If there’s no label on what you both are. Never assume loyalty from that person. It doesn’t matter how close your bond is or how intimate you are with them. Now I’m not saying you should be walking around feeling insecure asking or how many men or women the person your talking to is dealing with.
I’m saying you have to understand that alot of people are weighing their options and you(yes you!) are an option until they decide to make the relationship official. The woman you text “Goodmorning Beautiful” to could have five other guys she talks to text her the same thing. Hell ladies, it’s men that texts the 10 women they’re talking to “Good Morning Beautiful” and all of the women think their the only one.
Even if they hit you with the “cmon boo you the only person I’m talking too”. If they aren’t committing to you then I would take that with a grain of salt. You should always keep in the back of your head that you’re just dating and anything can happen.
Make Sure Your Healed From Your Last Relationship
I’ll be realistic about this one real quick. It’s VERY hard to completely heal from damage you may have had from a previously relationship especially if you were done wrong in that relationship. However I believe before you start dating again you should attempt to work on yourself first.
If you don’t know where to start. My friend an Author who specializes in self love and self care Siedah Speaks can help. “7 steps you can take towards loving yourself” and “Building your confidence before dating again.” These are both two articles I suggest you check out.
When you’re dating and still holding on to that pain from your previous relationships. You bring in alot of problems. Especially if the person or people you are dating is doing the samething. Plus I just don’t think it’s fair to expect someone you just met to suddenly have to take on all of your issues and emotional baggage.
Know What You Want
People who don’t know what they want tends to waste everyone else’s time…including their own. You don’t want to be that person. I’m not saying you should know exactly what you want but at least have a good idea. If are a super introverted man who hates partying don’t date a woman who goes to the club every night. Are there exceptions? Yes. Can opposites attract? Yes. Is it likely? No!
Also when it comes to your intentions you should also know what you want. You should also be honest to who you are talking to. If you just want to fuck…Let them know! If you want a relationship….Let them know! If you’re not sure…You probably shouldn’t be dating anyone until you know. Because that’s how either you get hurt or how you can hurt someone else.
Be Stable In Your Life
Okay I’ll be blunt. If you aren’t getting a consistent income and you’re sleeping on your mommas couch. You shouldn’t be trying to date anyone. Man and woman if you aren’t able to at least provide for yourself you are wasting your time. Time that could be spent getting yourself together.
For the men you don’t want to be that guy who asks the girl to pay for their first date. She won’t respect you afterwards. For the women it’s different because men are usually looked at to provide anyway especially in different cultures. So it wouldn’t be a huge deal breaker if she isn’t working.
Know The Red Flags
As I said before there are many dangers in the dating world. You have to pay attention to the red flags. Especially if you met the person online from either a dating app or even through social media. If everytime you try to plan a face to face meeting and there is an excuse. It’s a red flag. If your only conversations with them are over text. It’s a red flag. If the people close to them don’t know who you are. It’s a red flag.
Now I know those may be seem obvious but you would be surprised at how some people can date someone for months but never actually meet them face to face. Watch the show Catfish you’ll hear some crazy stories.
If the man you are dating tells you he wants a relationship but all of your convos with him always leads to him bringing up sex. Red Flag. He could be lying to get what he wants before “Ghosting” you afterwards. If a woman says she wants a relationship but wants you to buy her stuff or is asking you about a cashapp….yeah you might want to stop talking to her. Cause she is clearly using you.
You have to protect yourself in this dating world. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. There are people that want to use you, take from you, play you, manipulate you, or just simply waste your time because they have nothing better to do. So again I ask how do you stay sane in this dating?
Unless your relationship is official never assume you are the only one. Be careful not to bring your baggage with when you are dating. Make sure you know what you want and also make sure they know what they want. At the very least be able to provide for yourself and lastly be on the lookout for redflags so you don’t get played!
Like, Share and Subscribe and remember “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together.” Peace