In my last article I talked about the 7 Signs Of A Dead Relationship. You might be in a relationship and realized that maybe it’s reached its end. You might feel as though you aren’t happy. That you’re not getting what you want out of the relationship. Or maybe you feel as though your partner has mentally and emotionally “checked out” of the relationship. And you see the writing on the wall.
Despite this, maybe you really care about your partner and you still have faith in the relationship. You still think the relationship is worth saving. You put years into it and you don’t want it to end. Can a dead relationship really be revived. I believe so. However it takes a joint effort from parties for it to work. But without further ado I present
Remember Why You Love Them
Sometimes you have to take a step back and remember why you fell for them in the first place. Remember what that initial spark was that started your relationship in the first place. If you can remember that spark then maybe you can use that spark to rekindle that fire in your relationship. Maybe you feel in love with her passion, her strength, her perseverance, her inner and outer beauty.
Maybe you fell in love with his personality. He makes you laugh. He makes you feel secure and protected. He provides for you. Sometimes those traits are still there. And maybe we begin to take them for granted through the course of a long relationship. But if you can remember what made you date them in the first place maybe I couple be the first step to reviving the relationship.
Kick Toxic Influencers Out Of Your Relationship
Even though everything begins and ends with you and your partner. Sometimes there can be outside forces influencing your relationship. I wrote in a previous article about how you should Keep People Out Of Your Relationship and I still stand by it. If you want to leave make sure it’s what YOU want to do. Rather than what your best friends, parents, or in-laws want you to do.
Also if there are any outside toxic people in your life you may want to cut them out to save your relationship. Maybe your boys (particularly the single ones) are always trying to influence you to cheat when you go out with them and trying to clown you for being in a relationship. Maybe as a woman you may have that jealous “men aint shit” girlfriend who is always trying to convince you to leave your man. Or always finds fault in him.
Nobody in your circle knows your partner better than you. So it’s best to get outside influences out of your relationship on your side and also your partner’s side of course that’s easier said than done but if you both could agree on that. Without anyone in any of your ears it would be another good step to reviving your relationship
Talk About It And Be Truthful To Each Other
Now that the negativity influences are hopefully gone. Now both of you can open dialogue with one another. Sometimes the other person doesn’t even know what they’re doing wrong or even acknowledges that their relationship is dying. You should be honest with them and tell them your concerns. Why you aren’t happy anymore. What do you want to change. Even let them know that you love them but you are willing to walk away if things don’t change.
However it’s best to have this conversation when you are both relaxed if possible. You don’t want to do this when one of you has an attitude or this conversation is just going to be an argument. But you should make sure that this relationship is something that you BOTH want and is something that you can both agree to work on.
Listen To Them
Of course when you talk there will be a lot of finger pointing. Who’s doing what and who isn’t doing what. You may want to voice all your concerns but it’s good to listen to theirs as well. Reviving your relationship takes both of you. So it’s good to listen to their side as well rather than overtalking them or forcing demands on them.
Love is Loyalty, Sacrifice and Compromise. If you truly want to revive your relationship Compromising and Sacrificing are the two things that have to be there. Loyalty should already be there. Of course the same applies to your partner. If you listen maybe you’ll find some truth in what they say. Maybe you are a little too nagging. Maybe you really aren’t giving her the affection or attention she deserves. Sometimes a little self accountability can revive a dead relationship.
Show Them How Much You Want This To Last
Now it’s one thing to talk the talk and have this emotional conversation where you both agree to compromise to revive the relationship. It’s a whole other thing to actually show it. Actions speak a lot louder than words can. You both have to put in the work and effort. It may not happen overnight but there has to be visible progress.
If he says he’s cutting off Fatima. Fatima better not be in his phone or on any of his social media. If she says she is going to stop being hot-headed when ever she doesn’t get her way. You hold her to that. You have to show them how much you actually want them. If they see with their own eyes that things are actually changing. It could take your relationship back to how it used to be or even better it could breath a whole new life into it. You could both gain a whole new appreciation for each other
Learn To Change Things Up
Sometimes you may feel like your relationship is dying but there is no real reason. Things are going smoothly but there is just no excitement. Maybe you got to the point in your relationship where everything is very routine. You both do the same thing everyday. You both work come home talk about your days. Eat dinner. Have sex. You do the same sex routines every night and you go to sleep. And you follow that pattern every day.
Changing things up from time to time could possibly breath new life in your relationship. If you usually get take out. Cook dinner. If you usually cook dinner then dress up and go out on a nice fancy dinner date. Try something that’s out of both of your comfort zones. Develop new mutual interests. Something that could bring you closer together. Speaking of bringing you closer together you can think of new sex ideas. Something that could spice up your sex life. It’s very important to change things up. Especially nowadays where us people especially millennials. Have such short attention spans and get bored so easily.
Take A Break
When everything else fails and you really really still want to make things work. As a last resort you and your partner taking a break can help.
Now personally I don’t believe in “Breaks”. Either we are together or we aren’t. I will admit however that getting some space from someone will do either do two things. Either you will miss them appreciating all the things that maybe you didn’t appreciate before which will bring you closer or you will get used to not being around them or even happy and you’ll grow apart either further.
I believe using a break as a last resort will provide clarity. Either you two will miss each other and jump back into each other’s arms or it will validify that the relationship is truly and both of you can move on with your lives.
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