Why does she stay with him? Why does she stay in a toxic relationship despite the pain he puts her through? The unfaithfulness he continuously shows her. He puts her on a pedestal while simultaneously tearing her down. Digging at her self esteem. Telling her he loves her but in the next breath that she ain’t shit. Every time she tries to leave she gets pulled back. It’s like a perpetual cycle of events. And he knows she will come back. He knows she will stay. He has that control over her. He has her on a string. And she can’t break free.
Her family see’s his deceptions. Her friends as well. As they have warned her before she even committed. Even his friends knows the kind of person that he is. They’ve seen other women he’s treated this way and also knows of all of his side chicks. They even warn her as well. Yet why does she stay? She still stays loyal. She still holds him down. Giving him her all.
Her body, her mind, and her soul. She see’s the good in him and wants to build him up. She wants to change him. She wants to tame him. While cuddled up, sharing blunts, he let’s his guard down telling her about his childhood struggles, his fears and insecurities. She sympathizes with him and in her head wants to fix him and make him a better man.
He Doesn’t Provide
Why does she stay despite her having to play both roles. Provider and caretaker. He drives her vehicle. Often cheating with other women inside. He lives with her rent free. She comes home from work tired and he asks her what’s for dinner? He stands behind her proud in the supermarket line while she buys the groceries and feels even more proud when he carries the bags to her vehicle.
He has no real ambitions, no real goals traps outside and plays games inside but yet she still sees potential in him and the potential compels her to stick with him. To the point where simple things becomes a huge glimmer of hope. Like him taking out the trash, paying for dinner, texting her first or even him going down on her without her asking. It gives her hope until eventually he goes back to old habits and the cycle continues.
He Hurts Her
Why does she stay even when he harms her? He strikes her during arguments. Choking her and grabbing her when he loses his temper. He apologizes afterwards often blaming it on him being bi-polar. After the fights they make up then the next day she see’s her friends, hiding bruises from family and friends. And the ones she can’t hide she lies about. Saying she hurt herself at work and she’ll be ok. He gets drunk yells at her. Demeans her and shames her. Telling her she won’t be anything without him. Telling her she won’t leave him while she’s drenched in tears. She thinks his abuse is a form of love. A form of attention.
Besides a short night of intercourse it’s the only attention she gets anymore. Yet she still stays. When things get too crazy she throws him out or calls the police screaming “she’s done!” She tells her friends and they roll their eyes but still gives her encouragement. In a weeks time he eventually moves back apologizing and telling her he loves her and he misses her and the cycle continues.
She Has To Always Compete
Why does she stay when she has to compete with other women? He likes their pictures on Instagram, and other social media. He talk to them on the phone in her presence. He sends naked pics on his phone and receives them. He walks down the block with her and women waves and hugs already knowing who he is. He tells her he doesn’t fuck with his baby mom anymore and ensures her that she has nothing to worry about.
He comes home late smelling like perfume telling her he was with his boys. She takes his phone and finds messages. Asking who is Keke, who is Brianna, Who is Ashley? She beats him up breaks his phone and cries but she stays. She doesn’t want to lose him. She doesn’t want to build him up just for another bitch to reap the rewards. Eventually she forgives him and even buys him a new phone, and the cycle continues.
He Controls
Why does she stay even though despite his cheating she can’t have any guys friends. Or even hang with friends at all. He sees her as his property and isolates her away from everyone even family. He tells her he’s the only one she needs. That he is the only who really loves her. That he’s the only one that cares. He pits her against her friends telling her that she needs to choose. Messaging her guy friends threating to harm them if they keep contacting her.
Constantly asking where she is. Monitoring her at every turn. She can’t go to parties or events unless he knows exactly where it is at. She see’s this as him caring and it low-key makes her happy. Even though despite that she still has a secret guy friend that she vents to. And occasionally fucks as a way to secretly get back at him and he’ll never know but at the end of the night she lays with him and the cycle continues.
Better Options
Why does she stay when she knows there are better options. A better future. Many men comes at her. Men with good jobs and careers. Men with goals and ambition. The friend she vents to as he watches afar knowing what she goes through begging her to leave him and give him a shot. Even her boyfriend’s friends unbeknownst to him tells her to leave him and get with them. However she blows them all off.
She’s afraid to leave. She’s afraid to start over. All her effort to fix him will go to waste. Would if these guys are just the same as him? Would if all men are just the same? Would if this relationship that everyone tells her is toxic is normal? Would if it’s her fault that the relationship is like this. Due to her low self-esteem she blames herself. She tells herself he cheats because of her, he beats her because of her. And if he ever leaves her it will be because of her. She cries every night next to him whispering to herself. “Why Do I Stay.” And the same cycle continues. –LoveIsConfusing.