What Is Clinginess?
According to webster. Clinginess is having the quality of clinging to someone or something: such as tending to stay very close to someone for emotional support and protection. You can be clingy towards anybody or anything however I will be talking about relationships. Clingy people in relationships tend to be “up their partners ass” all the time in the relationship. There can be constant phone calls throughout the day. Constant double and triple texts. It could be not letting their partners have time to themselves or not letting them have time for anyone or anything else. Depending on how clingy the person may be it can turn into an obsession which obviously isn’t healthy for the relationship or the person.
Is Clinginess A Bad Thing?
Everything in moderation is what I always say. Too much of anything will become a bad thing. Clinginess in and of itself is not a bad thing. You want your partners checking up on you throughout the day. But i’m sure you don’t want 20 missed calls while you are at work then you call him back and he says. “I just wanted to hear your voice.” I’m sure you want your man up under you but I’m also sure you don’t want him following you around the house and dictating who you are around. Clinginess can easily turn into someone trying to control you because they want you all to themselves because they’ve never learned how to be by themselves. I’m sure we have seen plenty of movies and TV shows about the obsessive boyfriend. I’m sure the show “You” rings a bell.
However you want the person you’re with to have some sort of clinginess. I tell my guy friends “If she ain’t clingy towards you she probably clingy towards someone else” especially if she showed clinginess early on. Not to say that she’s cheating or anything but women break up with you emotionally before they do it physically so she’s probably emotionally clingy to the friend she plans on replacing his ass with months down the line. But I’m getting ahead of myself. You want that person to be clingy to some degree. You don’t want them never responding to calls or texts or you having to call them or text first every time just to interact with them. Especially if you’re in a long term relationship with them, that’s a no-no.
I believe there can be such a thing as healthy clinginess. You ever see those old couples that’ve been together for like 50 or 60 years. Always been up under each other. And their bond is so strong that when one passes away the other passes away not too shortly after?……I think that’s the dopest thing ever! So no clinginess isn’t a bad thing at all but can i can become toxic and very uncomfortable like anything else if someone over does it.
How Clingy I Should Be For My Man?
I’ll be real with you. One thing about men is we love to chase. If you’re very clingy it runs the risk of us getting bored or very lazy in a relationship. For example if a guy knows you are always going to call first or text him first. He’ll stop texting you first because he’s been conditioned for you to always have to come to him. Which will make things very one sided. Now of course in some relationships there are couples where both parties are both clingy towards one another but usually in a lot of relationships it tends to be a little lopsided. You want your man to still want to chase after you so you may want to take your foot off the gas from time to time.
Also you have to understand we are a little different. At times we may want our personal space. We may want a few hours to play some call of duty or a few hours to watch the game or just time to relax by ourselves. You may think we are trying to get away from you or that we may have an attitude when we’re really just chilling. Men aren’t really allowed to express themselves for fear of being called weak, emotionally or for lack of a better term a bitch. It’s been instilled inside of us since we were boys. So we tend to let off steam in different ways. Hard day at work. We might go out and play pool with the fellas. If something is bothering or there’s a problem we need to solve. We may spend the day killing on zombies on our game console untill we find the answer.
And of course the obvious response is “ok? Why won’t he just vent to me? I’m his girlfriend, I won’t judge him”. My response to that is Touché! You are correct but there are some things men do that you will never understand. Not to justify our confusing behavior but men and women are just wired differently. There’s some things women do that I will never understand…..and that’s okay!. Now lastly I mentioned earlier that by being clingy sometimes you can keep someone from having time for anyone or anything else. Sometimes that can be huge.
There’s a lot of women who want men to be the breadwinners and take care of them and their family. Which isn’t a bad thing at all. But in some cases I see she wants them to be up under her all the time but still work enough to take care of things. It’s possible but it can be a very hard balance. Now to be clear I’m not talking about a man who works 16 hours a day and he comes in and never even acknowledges his girlfriend or children. Something would have to change. I’m talking about a guy who may have to work some overtime or work an extra job to make ends meet but knows if he does it’s going to cause problems with his girl/wife. I’ve seen situations where a woman would cheat for the drug dealer on the corner or the guy with no job simply because he had more time for her. He can be on the phone with her for five hours a day while her man has to clock into work.
Now of course I understand that women need affection and the amount of affection for every woman differs. But there has to be a compromise. He may have to work less hours or maybe a different job where he can easily keep in touch or you may have to take your foot off the gas and maybe not be as clingy. But there’s some woman that’s just how they are so a guy that works a lot may not be the right guy for you and that’s okay. But in conclusion you should be clingy but you shouldn’t overdo it. I feel as though if you like someone you’re going to be clingy to some degree but everything in moderation. It can scare him away or it make you seem desperate or give him the impression that you need him which can cause him to stop chasing you and expect you to always come to him.
“Love Is Loyalty, Sacrifice and Compromise. “