Love Q&A #1

    I want to try something different. The same blog format after awhile gets pretty boring. It’s usually the lists of why you should do this or why you should do that. Why you should buy this product. 

How about I get my audience engaged because you guys are the reason I do this to be honest. 

    What I have in mind is that you give me three or more questions about Love, Relationships even questions about myself if you want and also something you want me to promote whether its a website, or a product or anything you want advertisement for and I’ll shout you out promote you and then answer whatever questions you ask me. Comment it below and whatever I promote has to be family-friendly please. I’ll be doing these weekly or bi weekly depending on my schedule. 

   Now I already have three questions I will answer from a friend of mines. Her name is Shy Roper. She blogs and has an online store, Unique Decadence where she sells cakes, cup cakes, cookies and alot of other things that she bakes herself. 


   So if you ever have a sweet tooth Unique Decadence is the way to go. She’s a “Small Person With a  Small Business Sharing HUGE Flavor.” I personally has had some of her baked goods. They are mouth watering and if you need a wedding cake for that special day she does that too. You can check out her blog at and also her online store at Now without further ado its time for me to answer some questions.

Shy: Can men and women have just a plutonic friendship. No strings attached. No ulterior motives?

LoveIsConfusing: If this was the old Xavier. High School Xavier. I would probably have a different answer. I had zero plutonic friends with women. If I was friends with a woman it was probably something I wanted out of her at some point. But as time went on and I matured as a person that changed. 

   Fast forward to now and I probably have more female friends then guy friends surprisingly and they are all plutonic friendships. Everything shouldn’t have to be about sex whether you are single or in a relationship. You should be able to hang out with someone and not feel like your obligated or pressured to do something you don’t want to. You should be able to go out to dinner, watch a movie, or just chill and drink a beer without feeling like he or she(mostly he) wants something out of it. So to answer your question….yes, yes you can have a plutonic friendship with the opposite sex.

Shy: How do you feel about gender roles in relationships?

LoveIsConfusing: I don’t believe in gender roles. The fact that some people still do baffles me to be honest. The kitchen isn’t just limited for women and fixing things around the house isnt limited to just men. In a relationship you’re a team. Anything that needs to be done should just be done. You should be helping eachother out. Even if there are designated jobs in the household. If your partner usually takes out the trash and he forgot, take it out. If your partner isn’t feeling too well and usually cooks for the family you step in and cook. 

   I came from a family growing up with all females and I was expected to learn how to cook, clean, wash clothes, fold clothes, Iron clothes etc. etc. The crazy thing is alot of women are suprised that I even know how to do those things. I thought growing up that those were normal things for anyone growing up but I do know not that alot of guys either don’t know how to. Or expect their woman to do it for them.

Shy: If a woman hits a man can a man hit her back?

LoveIsConfusing: Well first off I don’t believe a woman should put her hands on a man at all unless she is in danger. But with that being said no he shouldn’t. I’m not saying he should sit there and let himself get beat up but its just not worth it. It’s best to just walk away from the situation. If you hit her back and she calls the police you are getting arrested. If she get other people involved like a brother, father friends etc. You become a target. 

   The only time hiting a woman is even an option is if your life is in danger. If you are cornered and can’t get away rather than hit her you could move or push her out your way and make you way towards an exit. I was raised to never hit any woman and I believe you probably shouldn’t hit anyone at all period.

This was the first question and answer post I will try to do these every week maybe twice a week. Post your questions below. Thank you for your time and remember “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Figure It Out Together”

47 thoughts on “Love Q&A #1

  1. This was an interesting blog, I like this. I will answer the first question last
    As far as the second question, I do not believe in gender roles what so ever
    As far the third question, a man shouldn’t hit a woman (unless it’s a life or death situation, or if he was spit in the face)
    The first question, I don’t have a straight forward response. I think it really depends on how and where you met the person you are friends with. A friendship can turn into something deeper. Sometimes friends often compliment each other. Sometimes friends flirt with each other(not intentionally). Usually being friends with the opposite sex can lead somebody on.
    I believe if you have a friend of the opposite sex that you knew since childhood then I do think that friends can stay with no strings attached.
    Also people that are in their 50’s and above I too believe people of the opposite sex in their 50’s can be friends with no strings attach becuase of their maturity level. I say from 18-45, it’s rare for people of the opposite sex to be friends. This is the age where you physically look your best, sex drive is at it’s pick and you are still figuring yourself out. So your confused on what you want. So I believe in this age group it’s rare

    1. Thank you for you answers I honestly agree with everything. However I wanted you to ask your own individual questions and something you wanted me to advertise. But I love the engagement thank you for all your support!

      1. Oh my fault I was reading to fast I didn’t see the first paragraph my fault.

        My three questions
        1. Since you discussed gender roles, in the bible it says “wives must submit to their husbands and husbands are to lead their wives”
        I don’t completely agree with this.
        What’s your opinion on this?

        2. Do you think that people should be friends with there ex after a breakup?

        3. This is kind of similar to number 2.
        I personally wouldn’t want to establish a relationship with a female that just got out of a relationship with her ex becuase I fear I would be cheated on. What is your opioion on a rebound relationship?

        4. Since I don’t have any kids I wouldn’t want to date a single mother becuase it brings alot of unnecessary drama. What’s your opioion on single men with kids dating single mothers and vice versa single women with no kids daing single fathers?

        I asked four but you can pick the 3 you want to answer

        1. I’ll answer all four next week they are all very good questions. And I’ll promote your blog. I looked at your poetry you are very talented. Do you perform on stage like a spoken word?

          1. I appreciate the compliment.
            I have never performed on open mic night yet.
            I’m trying to finish school but one day I think I will go to a open Mic. Alot of my poems are my deepest thoughts. I just write it in a way my fans can relate.
            I appreciate the compliment tho

  2. This was a really good post to read and I agree with everything! I strongly believe in women-men friendship! And I do believe it is important that men see women as something else that just an object of desire.

  3. This is very intriguing question do you personally believe in polygamy if no why?

    Second one is why is that woman always ask for certain things in a guy but are so shallow with looks they end up with the exact opposite?

    Third question I recently got out of a toxic relationship it was bad every since I proposed she didn’t have faith in me and was still talking to other men so it ended so my question to you how can I hop back on the dating scene without holding onto the past?

  4. I love this. I don’t get gender roles either. Women don’t have to stay in the kitchen. In fact, I hate it in there.

  5. This is a really interesting post, definitely got me thinking, Ash and I just sort of muddle in and do what we can when we can so we don’t have assigned roles in the home.

  6. it surprises me that till this day, gender is an issue when we are in the internet era… if u give respect, a decent individual would do the same

  7. I really like this idea for a blog post. I think people should be equals in a relationship, It is time for gender roles to be a thing of the past.

  8. I am loving all of your answers about relationships, I do hope couples get to read this especially the women. They can learn a lot from it. It’s never okay to hurt your partner physically no matter the gender. And i also don’t believe in gender roles!

  9. What a unique and amazing way to explore perspectives about few of the important topics we all have in our lives. I strongly agree with no gender specific roles. I believe in team work and do whatever needs to be done, not that specific things are for either men or women. Not hitting a woman is a strong point and I was raised with that.

  10. First of all, those cupcakes look delicious and I need them in my life pronto! As far as questions, what do you think of maintaining a friendship after a romantic relationship has come to an end?

    1. They are as good as they look. And I believe some one else asked me that you will get your answer next week ๐Ÿ˜‰

  11. I think that first question is more complicated than it seems. I do believe a single man and a single woman can be friends however once either of them are in a committed relationship it becomes more complicated. There will almost always be jealousy or at the very least suspicion.

  12. Hey there! I love this format, it’s a great way to get people engaged. I have some questions:
    1. What are your love languages? Favorite way to receive and favorite way to show love
    2. What type of family did you grow up in and how did that shape your view on family/relationships/love?
    3. To follow up on the question about platonic relationships, do you think that it is normal for a married person to have best friends of the opposite sex?

    (feel free to shout out my blog, but you don’t have to!)

    1. I think you are the only commenter that did this the correct way lol But yes you should have your answers next week you have interesting questions. And I definitely shout you out.

  13. This was a thought provoking read. I will try to answer:
    1. I have several male friends and it’s totally plutonic.
    2. I don’t believe in gender roles. I believe people should do what’s done to make the relationship work. If she’s the one working, he should take care of the house. If they both work, they should both take care of the family needs.
    3. If a woman hits a man, yes, he absolutely has a right to hit her back. However, I don’t suggest it because he will go to jail and she won’t – at least in the US. I don’t believe violence is necessarily a means to an end, but I’ve seen men seriously hurt because they were too afraid to defend themselves against an angry woman.

  14. You’re taking a mature route with those answers! As a woman I wouldn’t hit a man and I don’t believe men should hit women or other men or anybody hitting anybody, since a kid I’ve always decided that I would much rather like to use my words and fight back with my words not my body, not that I curse either, I don’t. Maybe I would lose very badly in a fight lol

  15. The cupcakes catches my attention, but sticking to the topic, men and women must have mutual understanding for things to work out in a relationship

  16. I really love these Q&A answers. It is so interesting to see what people’s thoughts are on relationships besides you.

  17. Gender roles are a no-go for me! As a mother I raised my daughters knowing that they could be whatever they wanted to be when they grew up. As for love and relationships, this subject is so multi-layered and varies so much from couple to couple. But trust, respect, support of one another’s goals and mutual admiration is vital for any relationship to work.

  18. The love questions and answers segment is a great idea. My question is, ” What is your thought on a sister dating an ex boyfriend of her sister’s that she still had deep feeling about?” Thanks for sharing this segment.

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