LoveIsConfusing

"Love Is LOYALTY, SACRIFICE and COMPROMISE."

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Love Takes Sacrifice: 5 Ways Giving Up Something Builds a Stronger Relationship

Love grows when we choose each other—even when it costs us something.
These 5 quiet sacrifices can build a bond that lasts.
For anyone who’s ever loved deeply… this one’s for you.
💗 Save to come back to it when you need the reminder.
#LoveTakesWork #BlackLoveMatters #SoftLove #RelationshipWisdom #EmotionalIntimacy #LoveIsConfusing

Love Takes Sacrifice: 5 Ways Giving Up Something Builds a Stronger Relationship

Let’s be honest, everybody loves the idea of love—the butterflies, the connection, the loyalty, the intimacy. But when the fantasy fades and reality creeps in, you realize something deeper: love is not just a feeling—it’s a choice. A commitment. And sometimes… a sacrifice.

You don’t hear that part enough.

People think love is supposed to be easy. However, it’s not always sunshine and date nights. At times, love is hard conversations. It means biting your tongue. It requires compromise. Occasionally, it calls for giving something up—not because you were forced to, but because the relationship means more to you than your pride or your preferences.

Sacrifice in a relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself. Instead, it means choosing to let go of certain things for the sake of something greater. In this article, we’ll break down five ways sacrifice actually strengthens love instead of weakening it.

1. Sacrificing Ego Builds Respect

Every couple gets into arguments. That’s normal. What determines the strength of the relationship isn’t how often you argue—it’s how you handle those arguments.

Sometimes, that means sacrificing your ego.

Have you ever been in a fight where you knew you were wrong but kept arguing anyway? That’s pride. Pride will slowly chip away at trust and connection. But when you sacrifice your ego and offer a sincere apology, you create space for healing. You show maturity. You build respect.

No one wants to build a life with someone who always has to be right. People want a partner who chooses the relationship over their pride.

2. Sacrificing Time Shows Priority

Time is one of the most valuable things we can give. We make time for what matters. So when you adjust your schedule for your partner, you’re telling them, “You matter to me.”

Maybe you cancel a night out because your partner needs comfort. Maybe you wake up early just to make them breakfast. Maybe you pause your favorite show to listen to their day. These small sacrifices go a long way.

When both people in a relationship willingly give up their time, it fosters trust, consistency, and emotional safety. That’s when a bond becomes unshakable.

3. Sacrificing Comfort Leads to Growth

Love will challenge you. To grow, you have to get uncomfortable.

Perhaps your partner is healing, and you need to show more patience than you’re used to. Maybe their dreams stretch your own comfort zone. Possibly, you’re asked to face parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding.

That’s love, too.

Sacrificing comfort doesn’t mean pain—it means growth. And growth rarely comes without effort. Strong relationships are forged in the moments where both people lean in, even when things get tough.

4. Sacrificing Old Habits Builds New Foundations

We all come into relationships with habits and baggage. Some of those habits don’t fit in healthy love.

Maybe you’re used to bottling up your emotions. Perhaps you were overly independent or flirtatious in your past. Love requires that we examine these behaviors.

To build a strong future, sometimes you have to sacrifice the way you’ve always done things. That doesn’t mean losing who you are—it means evolving.

Letting go of toxic patterns helps you build something better, brick by brick. The right partner will help you become your best self, not a smaller version of you.

5. Sacrificing Control Creates Real Partnership

A real partnership is built on shared power, not control. Both voices should matter. Both choices should count.

If you’re used to leading everything, sacrificing control might feel foreign. But real love means learning to trust your partner’s vision, too. Let them lead sometimes. Respect their ideas.

That doesn’t weaken you—it strengthens your connection. It says, “I trust you. I believe in us.”

True love isn’t about one person holding the reins. It’s about walking side by side, making decisions together.

In Conclusion: Love Without Sacrifice Isn’t Real Love

Nobody said love would be easy. And yes, it will cost you something. But what you give up—whether pride, time, comfort, habits, or control—you gain back in trust, peace, and lasting connection.

Sacrifice doesn’t mean you’re losing. It means you’re choosing. Choosing your partner. Choosing growth. Choosing the kind of love that can actually last.

Thanks for reading. Like, share, or comment if this resonated. And remember:

“Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together.”

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The Uncomfortable Truths About Men: Part 1

Men Aren’t Drawn By The Same Things As Women

I think the trap that women have been falling for is that they believe or assume that men are attracted to the same things that they are, Money, Success, Status and Protection. Now the key word here is attracted. Now I say that because there are men that say that we don’t care about how much a woman makes or where she works or how many degrees she has. That’s not exactly true. We care but in a different way then women would. Our dicks aren’t going to get hard at the thought of landing a woman with a PHD that’s making over a 100k a year. I couldn’t tell you where my friends girlfriend work or how much they make and vice versa because guys don’t really have conversations like that. I’ll be real if you’re not attractive to us then to a guy who has his shit together it’s not going to move the needle much. He’ll choose the woman that never graduated high school, that’s now a part time cashier at a fast food joint over that woman in a heartbeat if he thinks she’s way more attractive.

Now if to him they were both extremely attractive or on the same level he would probably choose the woman with the PHD. (However if she makes more than him that could be a problem. More on that later). That’s because we do care but we care differently than you do. In society men are supposed to already be the breadwinners. Status is expected of us and we are supposed to protect you. So when it comes to us looking for partners we aren’t really looking for those things. But if you have those things it tells us something about you. It shows us certain traits, 

A woman with a PHD or multiple degrees means she had to grind extremely hard to get that. A woman with a business tells me she can juggle many things at once. A woman that makes her own money doesn’t need to depend on anyone. Now not to bash the woman who does fast food but we may look at her and think to ourselves that yeah she may be good looking but she’s probably a headache . She might have a poor work ethic. Considering she may not make that much, She’s likely going to be a big bill if we decide to engage in a long term relationship.

She could be extremely clingy since she has so much free time so while we are working she’ll be blowing us up all the time. And yeah that sounds harsh but that’s how we be thinking. Now with the woman with the PHD you wouldn’t have those problems. Even if she wants you to still be the main breadwinner she can still buy things on her own. She can still help out financially cause lets be real with all this inflation sometimes it takes two incomes. Plus y’all both will be grinding so its less time for you both to be up each other’s asses. The only issue for a guy could be the amount of money you make……

For you women out there that’s making loads of money especially the sistahs. I salute y’all. But I also feel horrible for you as well cause I’m sure the dating market is brutal for you. So when guys say we don’t care about how much a woman makes. Again that’s not really true. There are alot of men who will feel self conscious with a woman that makes more even if he himself “has his shit together”. There’s men who have control issues, and a woman who makes more than him or makes her own money can’t be controlled so that will piss him off.

And of course like I said earlier men are supposed to be the breadwinners so if his woman doesn’t need him financially it can make him feel like he can’t fulfill his role in the relationship. So a woman that makes more than us can make us feel some type of way. Is that your fault? Should you have to lower yourself because a man’s ego is hurt? Hell no. However I do have a solution but you gotta hear me out. Find a man that makes good money doing trades. Or a man that makes good money but has lots of skills. My reasoning is if a guy is “useful in a room” and makes his own money he is not going to worry too much about what you make. You might make 30k more than he does a year but he can fix your car, fix your pipes, fix your lights or even put together that Ikea furniture your ass doesn’t feel like doing. That’s a “high value man” to me. And on the plus side he’ll have something to teach your children as well.

Just Because Men Want To Have Sex With You Doesnt Mean They Are Interested

Guys with fuck anything…that’s pretty obvious. However I think some woman believe just because alot of men are “sexually” interested in you they are “genuinely” interested in you. A guy will make fun of Lizzo over her weight publicly then privately call up a girl her size to have sex with. You know how with y’all you have your “skeletons in your closet” that maybe only your bestie knows about. Men have skeletons in our closet that NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT. We will take it to our graves, and possibly hers if she spills the beans on our affair. (Just kidding) So yeah just because a man wants to do the grown up with you doesn’t mean he actually likes you. Out of all 100+ likes on your “cleavage” photo on social media, how many of those guys liked it because they like you as a person or friend or because they want a shot at you.

It gets even worse because some guys can even fake a 10+ year friendship just to get one chance at having sex with you. That is usually called the “friendzone”. Of course women know this which is why a lot of women don’t just give it up on the first night. Women will usually have you wait even if they want it as much as you do. How does she know we won’t ghost her or delete her number afterwards after promising her sweet nothings?

However it gets even worse than that. Say you read Steve Harvey’s book, think like a man and decide to have him wait 90 days before you both can get intimate. He agrees after 90 days you both have some steamy romance and now you are together. There are some guys who are only in a relationship just to have consistent sex. There was a guy I knew who was going through some issues with his girlfriend and he didn’t want to be with her anymore. However he wouldn’t break up with her, he just kept dealing with the issues. So I kinda got annoyed because I was tired of hearing about the issues and asked “okay, if she’s this bad why are you still with her?” And he replied “If I break up with her, I’m afraid I’m not going to get any more consistent pussy.” 

Now he is a guy that struggles with self confidence but imagine being with someone and in their head they are done with you however their second head is the only reason why you are still even together. Of course I understand with females it can be similar. There are a lot of women that deal with men that ain’t shit only because he can dick her down like no other. The difference is though men are the “hunters”. Men tend to have to work harder to get theirs. Most women can get dick whenever they want. Their main issues are the quality of the dick they get. With men if it’s been a cold streak shit every women got that W.A.P and men will take what they can get. 

Now with women who are extremely attractive I feel bad for you cause I know it’s extremely different to figure out if a guy is really into you or not. There was a girl in the past that worked with me in the past. One of the most beautiful women that you’d see in person. Had everything hips, boobs, ass, pretty face, beautiful eyes and was thick on top of that. The men at the job went crazy when she got hired within her first week. There was a guy giving her coffee and breakfast in the morning. There was a guy buying her lunch. The boss would give her extra breaks and allow to get away with things no one could get away with including being very late. The thing is she was totally oblivious to why everyone was being so nice to her and giving her so much attention she just thought all the men were “nice people.” 

At first I thought she was faking it until I conversed with her and learned that she had been really heavy set her entire life. She started to work out prior to starting the job so she never got that attention from men before. She showed me her before pictures on her phone and she looked different for sure. So she thought everyone was being nice until her co-workers wanted more from her. They found out she had a boyfriend and of course they didn’t care but once she repeatedly rejected their advances they stopped playing nice. The coffee stopped, the lunch stopped and her special treatment stopped and she realized that they didn’t care for her at all they just wanted to hit it and once they couldn’t they were no longer interested. So I guess the big question is this. How the fuck do you know if a man is genuinely interested and not just trying to fuck? Welp, that’s my next article! Stay tuned!

Love Is Loyalty, Sacrifice, Compromise

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Clinginess In Relationships: How Clingy Should I Be For Him?

What Is Clinginess?

According to webster. Clinginess is having the quality of clinging to someone or something: such as tending to stay very close to someone for emotional support and protection. You can be clingy towards anybody or anything however I will be talking about relationships. Clingy people in relationships tend to be “up their partners ass” all the time in the relationship. There can be constant phone calls throughout the day. Constant double and triple texts. It could be not letting their partners have time to themselves or not letting them have time for anyone or anything else. Depending on how clingy the person may be it can turn into an obsession which obviously isn’t healthy for the relationship or the person.

Is Clinginess A Bad Thing?

Everything in moderation is what I always say. Too much of anything will become a bad thing. Clinginess in and of itself is not a bad thing. You want your partners checking up on you throughout the day. But i’m sure you don’t want 20 missed calls while you are at work then you call him back and he says. “I just wanted to hear your voice.” I’m sure you want your man up under you but I’m also sure you don’t want him following you around the house and dictating who you are around. Clinginess can easily turn into someone trying to control you because they want you all to themselves because they’ve never learned how to be by themselves. I’m sure we have seen plenty of movies and TV shows about the obsessive boyfriend. I’m sure the show “You” rings a bell.

However you want the person you’re with to have some sort of clinginess. I tell my guy friends “If she ain’t clingy towards you she probably clingy towards someone else” especially if she showed clinginess early on. Not to say that she’s cheating or anything but women break up with you emotionally before they do it physically so she’s probably emotionally clingy to the friend she plans on replacing his ass with months down the line. But I’m getting ahead of myself. You want that person to be clingy to some degree. You don’t want them never responding to calls or texts or you having to call them or text first every time just to interact with them. Especially if you’re in a long term relationship with them, that’s a no-no.

I believe there can be such a thing as healthy clinginess. You ever see those old couples that’ve been together for like 50 or 60 years. Always been up under each other. And their bond is so strong that when one passes away the other passes away not too shortly after?……I think that’s the dopest thing ever! So no clinginess isn’t a bad thing at all but can i can become toxic and very uncomfortable like anything else if someone over does it.

How Clingy I Should Be For My Man?

I’ll be real with you. One thing about men is we love to chase. If you’re very clingy it runs the risk of us getting bored or very lazy in a relationship. For example if a guy knows you are always going to call first or text him first. He’ll stop texting you first because he’s been conditioned for you to always have to come to him. Which will make things very one sided. Now of course in some relationships there are couples where both parties are both clingy towards one another but usually in a lot of relationships it tends to be a little lopsided. You want your man to still want to chase after you so you may want to take your foot off the gas from time to time.

Also you have to understand we are a little different. At times we may want our personal space. We may want a few hours to play some call of duty or a few hours to watch the game or just time to relax by ourselves. You may think we are trying to get away from you or that we may have an attitude when we’re really just chilling. Men aren’t really allowed to express themselves for fear of being called weak, emotionally or for lack of a better term a bitch. It’s been instilled inside of us since we were boys. So we tend to let off steam in different ways. Hard day at work. We might go out and play pool with the fellas. If something is bothering or there’s a problem we need to solve. We may spend the day killing on zombies on our game console untill we find the answer.

And of course the obvious response is “ok? Why won’t he just vent to me? I’m his girlfriend, I won’t judge him”. My response to that is Touché! You are correct but there are some things men do that you will never understand. Not to justify our confusing behavior but men and women are just wired differently. There’s some things women do that I will never understand…..and that’s okay!. Now lastly I mentioned earlier that by being clingy sometimes you can keep someone from having time for anyone or anything else. Sometimes that can be huge. 

There’s a lot of women who want men to be the breadwinners and take care of them and their family. Which isn’t a bad thing at all. But in some cases I see she wants them to be up under her all the time but still work enough to take care of things. It’s possible but it can be a very hard balance. Now to be clear I’m not talking about a man who works 16 hours a day and he comes in and never even acknowledges his girlfriend or children. Something would have to change. I’m talking about a guy who may have to work some overtime or work an extra job to make ends meet but knows if he does it’s going to cause problems with his girl/wife. I’ve seen situations where a woman would cheat for the drug dealer on the corner or the guy with no job simply because he had more time for her. He can be on the phone with her for five hours a day while her man has to clock into work. 

Now of course I understand that women need affection and the amount of affection for every woman differs. But there has to be a compromise. He may have to work less hours or maybe a different job where he can easily keep in touch or you may have to take your foot off the gas and maybe not be as clingy. But there’s some woman that’s just how they are so a guy that works a lot may not be the right guy for you and that’s okay. But in conclusion you should be clingy but you shouldn’t overdo it. I feel as though if you like someone you’re going to be clingy to some degree but everything in moderation. It can scare him away or it make you seem desperate or give him the impression that you need him which can cause him to stop chasing you and expect you to always come to him.

“Love Is Loyalty, Sacrifice and Compromise. “

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Unconditional Love: Do We Really Love Our Partners For Who They Are?

Are we able to love

Unconditional Love. What does that mean to you? Is it someone accepting you for all your flaws. Is it someone simply accepting you for who you are as a person? Despite your various individual beliefs and ideologies that you may have. Or is it someone who doesn’t know and doesn’t care about your flaws or beliefs but still wants to sweep you off your feet regardless? Most of us yearn for that unconditional love. We are sold on the concept of finding someone that will love us for who we are. And if we don’t get that from our partner. Then we move on from them and search for someone that will possibly give us that. We are at an early age exposed to certain media and what I like to call the Disney programming. Whereas children we are to conditioned to believe that no matter who are or what we do. There will always be someone to sweep us off our feet and love us. Now am I saying that unconditional love doesn’t exist? No but I believe things are more complex than that. So let’s break things down shall we?

Love From Parents

Family love

For most our first experience of unconditional love comes from our parents. They feed us, nurture us, teach us and clean up our shit and I mean that quite literally. They don’t ask for anything in return. There are usually no conditions for this love and nurturing. You aren’t going to have a temper tantrum and throw juice at your parents as a toddler and your parents respond by giving you away to someone else. Your aren’t going to argue with your parents, going through that “rebellious” stage as a teenager and then come in the house and see a strange person in your room and your parents tell you that you’ve been replace because they can’t deal with you anymore. There is special bond between parents/guardians and their children that you most likely won’t get anywhere else.

Where The Confusion Comes In

black couple

When you combine the unconditional love you get from your parents and the illusion of unconditional love you see from various media outlets. That is where the confusion comes in. You start expecting that from not just people in your life like friends but you definitely expect it from the partner you are searching for. Which usually leaves people very shocked and disappointed when they can’t find it. So I will say this which may be seen as controversial but the love and rapport that you have with your parent or parents is different than the love you will get from your significant other. Now am I saying that the bond you have with your significant other can’t grow to be stronger than your parental bonds? No, however the two bonds will always be different.

There are men who will come in relationships with woman and expect to have that same rapport that they have with their parents. Where they can do what they want and the woman will still be there and still love them “unconditionally” and when she leaves him or replaces him he loses his mind. There are woman who come into relationships with a man and expects him like her father to protect her, provide for her and be her shoulder to cry on “unconditionally” and when he cheats, leaves or replaces her she also loses her mind. She loses her mind because her father would never do that, that Prince in those Disney movies she grew up on would never do that. The man thinks the same thing. He thinks subconsciously that he may have given his mother a hard time but she would never leave him or replace him. And that is where the confusion lies.

Unconditional Love

 

So I’ve touched on parental love but what about love between two significant others, can that be unconditional? Yes, but I believe it takes time for that to develop. The biggest lie that you can tell yourself is that someone is going to right of the bat love you for who you are. I wrote an article in the past where I explained why I don’t believe in Love At First Sight. And one of my points was that it usually starts off superficial. We focus on looks, beauty, how much they make, where they work. How big her titties and ass are. How big is his dick, how good is the sex. Even if you say that I don’t care about all that. “I only judge off of their personality or character.” That is still a “condition”. If you no longer like their personality or if their character suddenly changes will you still be there to love them the same? However I do believe over time that you can build towards loving someone unconditional.

Now let me be clear I don’t mean someone that gets verbally or physically abused by their partner and keeps going back because they “love” them. No I mean someone in a functional relationship that understands their partner’s flaws and has over time maybe seen their partner’s personality evolve or their ideologies change and even though they may not wholeheartedly agree they still love them are loyal to them. Because you know people tend to change over time. Things may start out from a superficial perspective but over time and struggles you strengthen your bonds. For example at the start of the relationship or even if you just started dating, if your partner did something embarrassing like fart or something in front of you. You might be questioning the relationship. Or even making it official with them. Now five years later in a functional relationship you do it right next to your partner in bed y’all probably laugh and joke about it and nobody thinks nothing more about it.

Even on a more serious note say your married and on year 12 of a functional relationship. You’re partner gets caught in a bad fire they survive but it burns most of their body, they have scares. Now they may be insecure about the scares but you’ve built up that unconditional love over the years so it’s almost like you don’t even see the scars. You don’t see any imperfections you truly love them for they are. However 12 years ago if you were to run into that person you may not have even dated them or married them in the first place. Year one or year two if that had happened you may have just self-destructed the relationship, because you hadn’t yet built up to loving them unconditionally yet.

if that had happened you may have just self-destructed the relationship, because you hadn’t yet built up to loving them  yet.

In Conclusion

One of the major components of Love and Unconditional love is loyalty. Loyalty is being by someone side even though you have nothing to gain from it. Everyone doesn’t have that quality nor is everyone willing to develop those qualities. The lack of attention spans combined with the increase of options due to social media and increased popularity of dating apps makes everyone very disposable. No one has to work on loyalty cause if someone does something they don’t like they can get someone else. So when choosing your partner unconditional love isn’t something I would look for initially however loyalty from your partner is the key trait you should be searching for. If real loyalty is apart of them than unconditional love will develop overtime.

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7 Signs That You Are Being Used By A Man

Teal and White Minimalist Photo Grid Recipe Pinterest Graphic

We live in generation where narcissism runs wild. People tend to only look out for themselves. People for the most part aren’t looking to get to know you. But rather they are looking to get something out of you. Whether it is physical, spiritual or emotional and modern day relationships are no different. As a matter of fact people that try to use or manipulate tend to be people close or intimate to you. Such as a significant other. Now originally I was going to write a single article on the signs of both men and women. But I decided to give both their own articles because men and women as a WHOLE tends to go about things differently. Now without further ado 7 Signs That You Are Being Used By A Man.

1. Only Hits You Up For Sex

using for ex

Yeah let’s get the easy one out the way. If you’re looking for a serious relationship with him but the only time he contacts you is when he’s trying to fuck obviously you’re being used by a man. Also pay attention to the conversations you have with him. If every conversation with him circles back to sex or sexual flirting then he could be just using you for sex. Even down to his compliments. “Beautiful”, “Gorgeous” are compliments men tend to make towards women he’s serious about while names like “Sexy”, “Bad”, or “Hot” are used for women that men are just trying to fuck.

2. Lacks Commitment

no commitment

Another sign to look out for is the lack of commitment. Maybe you’ve been messing around for some time and you’re wanting to take things to the next level. You’ll ask him “So what are we?” If he’s just using you chances are he won’t know how to answer the question. Or he’ll give you the run around and make excuses. If you’re being used by a man he will find every reason and every way to waste your time and energy without having to actually be exclusive to you.

3. You Only Operate On His Schedule

checking phone

Missed calls and late texts responses are the norm. You operate on his schedule. He may only hit you up in the morning. He may only hit you up in the evening. It may even just be on certain days. But your life revolves around him. His time will always be more important than yours. Plans and dates will only be made at his convenience and can also be canceled at anytime.

4. There Is No Genuine Interest In You

man no interest

Your personal goals and dreams will not really matter to him. Getting him to listen to you will be a chore. The only time he’ll be excited to talk is if it’s about whatever he’s using you for. The conversations may be very “surface level”. and may revolve around only sex. One word and two word text responses may also be the norm. Also very short phone calls with the excuse of being “busy”.

5. He Only Cares About His Needs

man ignoring woman

If you do get him to talk chances are the conversation will be all about him. When it comes to doing things together he’ll never meet you half way and instead will convince you to come to him. He will be reluctant to listen to you and your problems and may also just blow them off. He will be very selfish when it comes to the relationship. Whether it’s emotionally, sexually or even spirituality. His goal is to drain you. Which is usually the main goal of all narcissists.

6. He Makes You Afraid To Say No

Afraid to

The Male Narcissistic tends to prey on woman who either has low self esteem or a woman who has a good heart. With both it’s easy for him to make himself the victim. He will often make you do things you don’t want to. It becomes easy to use you since you now look at him as the sympathetic figure. Woman tend to be the more nurturing sex and the man will use that trait to his advantage. Making you afraid to say no. Whether he’s pressuring you for sex, asking for money, or even a place to stay.

7. Never Gives Anything In Return

bored-woman

A user for the most part only knows how to take. A user usually never gives anything back of value. I always say love is loyalty, compromise and sacrifice. You’ll get none of these from a man that’s using you. You will sacrifice your time and feelings for him but he will always be hesitant to do it for you. He will never compromise with you. Everything will always be about him. And how loyal he is will be based off how much you allow him to take from you. The moment you stand up for yourself he will leave and find another victim to use.

 

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