LoveIsConfusing

"Love Is LOYALTY, SACRIFICE and COMPROMISE."

Relationships

6 Reasons He Won’t Commit To A Relationship

Whether it’s taking that step into an official relationship. Or taking an even deeper step into marriage. Commiting and staying committed can often be a problem when it comes to men. You’ll get no argument from me there. However I’ll be sticking to relationships. Marriage is a whole different topic that I’ll be covering soon. But why are Men so “Allergic” to commitment in relationships? Here are 6 reasons why men do not commit.

Weighing His Options

Don’t be rolling your eyes at the title women be weighing their options as well. But maybe he shouldn’t have options maybe you should be the only woman that he’s trying to date. And I actually agree you shouldn’t lead anyone on but I also believe you shouldn’t assume that you are the only one. Now I’m not talking about the guys that text 10 different women in their phones “Goodmorning Beautiful ❤” at the same time.

I’m talking about a man who may be conflicted between two woman. He may be talking to one woman he really likes but then there’s that ex or mother of his child that he may still be entertaining. Or maybe wants to get back with. The reality of the situation is that there may just be other women that’s he’s also talking to and dating.

Don’t Want To Be Tied Down

There’s some men out here that simply don’t want to be in a relationship. If they’re in a relationship that means they have to be loyal, faithful and basically be a boyfriend. But instead they want their cake and be able to eat it too. Matter of fact they want everyones cake. He doesn’t weigh his options because he never intended to be with you in the first place.

The thought of being with only one person may scare him. Or he may just want to mess around with everyone. He may be one of those guys that wants the benefits of a title. You know sex, cuddling, homecooked meal, and emotional support but doesn’t want the title of being with you. Alot of time guys don’t want the title is because if they are messing with another woman they can just hit you with the “Why you so mad? We wasn’t together anyway.”

They Are Embarrassed Of You

Sometimes a man can really like you but may be afraid to show you off. You ladies ever have a man that you really mess with personality wise. He make you laugh and he make you smile. But maybe his teeth a little crooked. He doesn’t dress well. A little acne. He may work at a fast food joint flippin burgers and you know if you make it official with the man.

Your girlfriends are going to clown him. Your mom is going to laugh……when he leaves. And your father is going ask if you’re sure he’s the one………..Yeahhh that’s how we feel. Am I saying it’s right? Hell no. You should love who you want to love no matter what anyone thinks. But I’m not talking about me I’m speaking for men as a whole.

As you already know men can be very very shallow. If she’s too big or not attractive he may back out because of what his boys may say to him or behind his back. Sometimes the woman might even have a reputation. You know high school or college or even in the neighborhood. People may say “she gets around” or things like that which also may make him not want to be committed or else he may get laughed at.

Kids can be cruel sometimes. And lastly you have some parents. You know there’s some mamma’s boys out there where nobody they bring home is “good” enough for their mother and maybe they are ashamed to bring her home. I mean it’s the same way how some men are never good enough for a womans father to accept.

He’s Only There For The Sex

He never had any intention of being with you at all. He just wanted to have sex. Sometimes this can cause a miscommunication which happens alot where he assumes you’re down with just being a friend with benefits. Then you catch feelings and ask him “what are we?” And he gives you the -_- face. Shoot you might have actually been down with it but overtime you develop feelings for him but the feelings aren’t mutual and you get hurt.

Some guys purposely lead women on promising commitment. Or acting like that’s what they want. But the whole time they just trying to fuck. And of course once they get what they want they back out. Block you or pass you by and act like they don’t know you. And when you snap out on them they will act very confused like they didn’t know what they were doing.

He May Have Other Priorities.

When a woman is going through alot of stuff, trying to refind herself or simply enjoying the single life. Her response to a mans advances are “I’m not ready for a relationship”. Men are similar. There’s alot of guys including myself who wants their life to be “balanced” before they get into a relationship.

They want to be financially secure have their own place or basically be able to provide for themselves before they step into a serious relationship. Or we may not simply have the time. We may be tied up with school. Or work multiple jobs or work crazy hours to the point where a relationship may be tough at the moment. He may really want to be with you but the timing may be off.

He Doesn’t Think It’ll Work Out.

He may be very indecisive. He may believe that things aren’t going to pan out with you. He may like you but maybe over the course of dating you. There may have been red flags. Maybe he thinks you’re jealous or clingy. You he could see you as trying to rush a relationship with him and it could him off.

Maybe he thinks you don’t really want him but are only with him for what he has and picks up on that and falls back. I mean there are some women out here that’s trying to “secure the bag”.

Maybe he was hurt in the past. Every women he has ever dated cheated on him or took advantage of him.(Hey it happens to us too.) He may think that you’ll do the same and he’ll be hesitant to date you.

In Conclusion

There are alot of men with commitment issues. However alot of these reasons I discussed can easily be solved with communication. You shouldn’t lead anyone on. Whether it’s on purpose or not. You should let her know what your intentions are from the start. If you just want to be friends with benefits then let her know. If you don’t want to be tied down and still want to spread your wings let her know. If she isn’t the only person you are talking to let her know and lastly if you want her and she does something to change her mind then sit her down and talk it out. It could all be so simple. If you liked the article please Like, Share and Subscribe and remeber “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together.”

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4 Ways To KEEP A Man Happy.

Fours ways to keep a man happy? Cmon, Men are simple creatures. Just give us good sex, good food, no nagging and a little bit of space from time to time………Thats it. Article over thanks for reading! 🙂 Subscribe!……

Fineeeee. I won’t do that to you all. Men are indeed more complex than that. Not as complex as Women though.(Still can’t figure you out ugh) Also I suggest reading my latest Article “What Is A Man: 5 Traits of a Real Man.” These are the kind of Men I’m talking about.

Be Supportive Of His Down Time.

When a man is bored typically he’ll play the video game. Watch the football game or basketball games or go hang out with his boys. You know, guy stuff. That’s our down time. That’s our time to chill. And that time may intertwine with the time when you want attention from us. It may make you mad or annoy you. It may even seem like we are ignoring you. Or not taking you serious at the moment. But you have to understand. (And again im talking about Men not boys.)

Sometimes we just have alot of stress and need to detox for a few hours. And yeah I get it ladies. We do have the option of going to you and just venting out our problems. But sometimes we just don’t want to talk at the moment and just want escape for a little bit. We might be mentally exhasted. We may work long hours. Or just have to deal with alot of bullshit during the week. And yes I know so do you.

Do you know the feeling you get after a long ass day. When you can finally take your bra off and throw it somewhere and sit down and drink a glass of wine…..That’s how we feel when we get in the house and pop in Call of Duty or turn on the Lakers game. You should be supportive of his down time. Let him breath a little bit. Then when he’s done “decompressing.” I’m sure you’ll get his full attention.

Show Him That You Appreciate Him.

Guys love it when their woman does something that shows her appreciation for him……the difference between a man and a woman is how we will react. You buy a woman flowers and a gift or do something amazing for her that she never seen coming. She may cry and she’ll be glowing and smiling for a week. You do something similar for a man. He’s like “thanks babe” all dry. He’ll probably crack a smile and…that’s it.

No tears, glow or nothing. But what you don’t know is the whole time we’re giggling like school girls and probably blushing on the inside. But we won’t let you know that. Why? Cause we are weird like. That’s all you need to know! The crazy thing is. Whenever we do hang around our male friends we’ll bring it up. Bragging about what you did for us.

All jokes aside we really do love it when we feel appreciated. Even down to the very small things. Like when your woman start “stealing” your slang or wearing(stealing) our t-shirts or hoodies. Or even posting about us on social media. Y’all really don’t know how much the little things you do mean to us.

And it’s men’s fault cause alot of times we act like it’s not a big deal when we know it is. We have alot of pride and we need to work on that. But trust me showing your man how much he’s appreciated will keep him happy for sure.

Make Him Feel Important.

As a man we want to feel important in your life. We don’t want to feel like we’re just……there. We want to feel like we have a purpose. So even though you may not always need us. *SHOUT OUT TO THE INDEPENDENT WOMEN!* We are still gonna bring heavy grocery bags in the house for you, hold doors for you, offer to pay the check on dates and offer head without you asking. Please let us do that. A mans happiness in a relationship should be from making his woman happy and of course vice versa.

Another thing that guys probably won’t tell you or admit to is that we low-key love it when a women puts us on to new things. If you’re cooking dinner and your man doesn’t know how to cook. Bring him in the kitchen. Have him help you cook. Have him cut up something. Or stir something add a little seasoning(make sure he put too much lol) and motivate him and encourage him the whole time like its a big accomplishment because of course us men can be big babies and we need it. He’ll feel like he’s helping you out and will be happy because of that.

Sex…..

I mean did you really think this wasn’t going come up. Yes it’s very important to us and it does keep us happy….very happy. But that’s really no surprise at all. A couple that has sex regularly will be alot happier then a couple that doesn’t. That’s facts. As men we may not tell you be we love the flirting the foreplay and most importantly we love suprises.

I’m not saying you have to be the freakiest person in the world. But we love that spontaneous shit. Head without asking for it. Coming home after a long day and you laying in the bed with lingerie.(well we don’t care for the lingerie we going to it off anyway but we appreciate the effort) And like I said earlier men lowkey love being put on to new things.

Try out new positions or new locations. Hell if you can find out something sexual he’s never done before and surprise him.(nothing toooo crazy though) Shoot he might be the one “Glowing” the very next morning. But things like that will definitely keep your man happy.

In Conclusion

I still think Men are pretty simple. But we do have our weird little quirks. And if you like this Article. Also check out “4 ways to keep her happy.” Whether is Men or Women the goal of a relationship is always to keep eachother happy. There may be arguments, drama and “beef” from time to time. But at the end of the day you are both a team. A relationship is both parties sacrificing to make the relationship the best partnership it can be. Like, Share and Subscribe and remember “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together”.

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Always Protect Your Heart- LoveIsConfusing

Always protect your heart

“Always Protect Your Heart.” This was something that was told to me by my mother. And it’s something I have learned to take to heart. No pun intended. The heart is arguably the most important organ in your body. It’s something that you cannot survive without. It’s extremely strong but at the same time extremely fragile. It’s very fitting that the heart is the symbol for love. Evennn though the symbol looks nothing like an actual heart, but hey I digress.

It’s been awhile since I myself has touched on the topic of self love. But it’s very valid to this topic. Protecting your heart when it comes to love is very important. However very difficult. It’s a balancing act. You have to care about the other person but still have enough love and respect for yourself to not be walked over or taken for granted. You can’t be cold hearted but you can’t leave yourself too vulnerable.

“Always protect your heart.” In order to protect your heart you have to love yourself. You have to value yourself and your heart because if not then you will subconsciously entrust your heart to someone else. Instead of you protecting your heart you give it to someone else with their promise of protecting it and once someone has your heart they have you. They then have control. They can break your heart, crush your heart, squeeze your heart and leave you emotionally dead. Then you have to pick the pieces up and put them back together and start all over.

If you don’t value your heart enough to protect it. Then how can you expect someone else to do it? Sometimes it takes your heart being completely shattered before you learn how to take care of it. Often that’s the only way we ever learn. When we are young and we are new to love. We just have our hearts dangling. Ready to give it to anyone. We carry our hearts like a new smart phone without a case. Constantly dropping it with little regard. That’s why our first loves are always looked back as the strongest but also the most painful.

“Always Protect Your Heart.” How do you protect your heart? Well, how does one protect their actual heart. They keep toxic things from their heart. Like smoking and eating foods that are bad for you and improving their diet. They take care of themselves. They exercise, they meditate and they get away from things that gives them stress. So when it comes to your spiritual heart you do the same.

First you take care of yourself by first learning how to love yourself which I touched on in several articles. “Three Steps To Loving Yourself” and “Why Loving Yourself Is A Dangerous Weapon.” Then from there you keep all of the toxic people away from you. All the people that are bad for you. The people that want to use you and take your heart and cause it harm. You then replace them with positive people. People who value your heart as much as you do and will protect yours while your protecting theirs. That to me is true love.

In Conclusion

I was taught to always protect my heart. And even though in the past I haven’t always did that. Through my mistakes and through the heart breaks. I’ve realized how important it is to protect it at all times. The people that loves the hardest usually has the most fragile hearts. That’s why it’s important to never let it get into the wrong hands. Much love to you all! Like, Share and Subscribe if you love the content. Remember “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together.”

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The Importantance Of Showing Affection

There’s something that’s very very important. It’s something that most men downplay a lot. In the past me myself has always downplayed it. What is this thing? Well it’s called affection. What is affection? Well according to the Urban Dictionary. “Affection is a physical way of showing just how much you love someone. Its a fondness that consumes you. Wanting to touch, tickle, kiss, hug, or hold.”

I was never big on affection. It just simply wasn’t my thing. Looking back at my childhood I just never really had an affectionate relationship with my parents and I guess it trickled down to my love life. In my earlier serious relationships.

I hated cuddling. Hated holding hands. Didn’t really like kissing or making out. I only really did it when it was initiated by my girlfriend orrrr when we were engaging in sexual activity. That was the only time I was actually willingly affectionate. But I never thought much about it. Or even considered it as an issue. That was just the way I was.

However things went south with her eventually. And I was with a new girlfriend. This was the relationship that made me realized how bad my lack of affection was. Because she demanded affection. She was the type that always needed to be held and be up under her man.

She loved cuddling holding hands all that mushy stuff that I hated. And half heartedly I tried it but quickly I got annoyed by her. I felt smothered and I started pushing her away. It just made me feel uncomfortable it just wasn’t something I was used to. I just seen her as clingy and needy and it made the relationship difficult. However I still didn’t think of it as an issue. I just felt I wasn’t that type of guy.

However it was something that she noticed. Whenever she actually got me to show affection to her it would lead directly to sex. If we were cuddling it would quickly lead to sex. Shoulder rubs, Massages, Kissing, hugging, etc we were fucking. I thought everything was good until she hit me with the “We need to talk.”

She invited me over she told me she didn’t think we were bonding enough. And that she felt as though she wasn’t getting the affection she needed from me. She told me that we should take a break on having sex and work on building a bond. I didn’t like that of course. I objected heavily.

I still didn’t see an issue with my actions. I just felt she was extremely clingy and over emotional and that she was overreacting. We argued about it for a few days and then she gave me an ultimatum. Which was basically lets try this shit out or we breaking up. Ok Fine. I decided to try it out with her. The first week was weird but I thought about what she said and that’s when I realized I had an issue.

And I started being more open emotionally to her. And I had to learn how to be more affectionate. However in that month I can say we bonded more then we ever did before. It was great! And it got to the point where I was being affectionate because I wanted to be and not because it was demanded of me to be. We held hands in public. Whenever we met up the first thing I would do is kiss her to her surprise. When it came to cuddling or even massages I would initiate it. Eventually I got used to it and it became routine.

We became closer and more intimate then we ever been. It led to us falling in love with each other. And of course we eventually got back to having sex but that wasn’t the main focus of our relationship anymore. Its crazy though. Because I never realized how much it meant to her or how much it meant to women in the first place. Granted I was younger at time and way less mature than what I am now.

So if I could give advice to men in similar situations. If a women craves more affection. Don’t write her off as being clingy, annoying or whiny. Work with her. Its ok to be vulnerable sometimes. And to be completely honest. I feel as though if you feel like you can’t give her the affection she needs. Then it’s no need to waste her time because you may be not be able to handle it but there’s another man that will.

Like, Share and Subcribe and remember. “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together”

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What do women expect from their Man?

What do women expect

What do women expect from their man in a relationship? Is it love? Faithfulness? Respect? Great sex? I don’t have the answer to this question. However I asked multiple women and they happily gave me their responses. Hopefully you guys will take notes as you’re sipping your tea and more importantly I hope you enjoy. Thank you.

Shy Roper|Baker

“I don’t have really “expectations” when it comes to my significant other. Be loyal, trustworthy, show me you love me, be my shoulder to cry on when needed but be that pedestal when you know Ineed to be lifted.”

Mary Bullock|Graphic Designer

“Well I expect respect because I feel like respect is needed in any relationship, romantic or not. You don’t have to like me, but you will respect me so I could not be romantically involved in anyone who disrespect me. With respect comes honesty as well. Like if my partner cheats on me, I except for them to have enough respect for me to tell me so I can leave they ass 😂 If you respect me then even if we break up, we will be on good terms”

Lamira Newsome | Army Soldier

“I try to keep my expectations on a mutual level. Meaning, I expect the same kind of effort put in our relationship that he would expect of me. I expect him to communicate with me, rather than run from any confrontations or look to other females for attention. I expect him to treat me as his queen. If a man knows how to treat his mother and sister’s then he should know how to treat his significant other. It goes both ways though, but I expect him to have consistency. Of course I expect him to at least have some kind of financial stability and if he’s not there yet, then the motivation and determination to get to where he wants to be. I may not be where I want to be yet so I wouldn’t expect him to already be there but I do expect him to push himself as well as push me to be better, and vice versa. Us females tend to expect so much from males that we have to remind ourselves that we too have our faults. We too are finding ourselves. I don’t expect my man to be all the way there in life when I’m not even there, but I do expect him to at least be on the same level as me.”

Kemelto Nesbeth|Writer, Blogger

www.kemaltonesbeth.blogspot.com

“Upon entering a relationship I sometimes keep my expectations a bit low just to hold back on any potential “let down” though, there a few qualities I hope that man would have. Currently being in a well-developed relationship, I can say that I expect my man to uphold with the qualities that he has portrayed since the first day we met to the very first time we decided to hit it off as a couple. I expect my man to be nothing but himself, to be sincere to me and our relationship and to do his part in the relationship as it takes two to make a couple. I expect his loyalty and his honesty. I expect him to see me as his rock and a shoulder to cry on whenever he needs one and to not be afraid to show me his emotions. To conclude, all I expect from my man is his pure genuineness.”

Shemekka Ebony|Motivational Speaker, #IAmBrilliant

Iambrilliant.org

I expect consistent communication, reciprocity, released gender expectations, vulnerability, strength, and be the gift to heal me. Honestly, I had no expectations and was not lost or looking for a man to be in a relationship. I just described character traits of the King 👑 God sent to me to walk with.- @shemekkaebonycommunity

Brionna Edwards

“To be honest I expect what I give. What I mean by that I expect any man I date to be honest at all times even if the truth will hurt. I like to be spoiled by consistency a man that just does not because I need to tell him to or how to act. A romantic not oh let’s get high and smoke then talk can we talk while sober can he share his dreams with me open up to me and become just as vulnerable as I do for him? Most women want these things some want a guy who has it all etc. I don’t mind sticking by someone trying I want to be spoiled by having a connection outside of sex, weed or anything everyone does to open up. Can we just sit and talk about ourselves silly things our insecurities and reassure each other it’s all okay. I think for me being spoiled is having a man who doesn’t have a damaged masculinity.”

Ayanna Robinson

“The thing that I expect from my man in a relationship is HONESTY! Trust is like glass, very fragile and easy to break. What brothers need to realize is that women love HARD. You trust me and I trust you. You will be respected more if you just keep it 100. Two people cannot evolve together if the trust is not part of the equation.”

Jennifer Pompaski|Blogger, Writer

Kinginqueen.com

I have been out of the dating game for a long time now. Years to be precise. The decision to remain single for the time being was “prompted” by a harrowing experience akin to Tyler Perry’s movie, ACRIMONY.

The experience made me question a lot of things. Relationship wise, that is. When Xavier said, I should participate in this “round up”, I agreed because this question is essentially what I have given much thought to especially after my experience.

Now what do I expect from a man in a relationship?

First off, I want complete and total HONESTY. Oh yes, you got that right. I believe a lot of relationships these days are built on lies and social media and technology isn’t helping! From what went down with my Ex, he never wanted to marry me. He used the “give me some time” cliché to buy himself time. So definitely. I expect honesty from my man.

I expect the man to be the MAN. I was an emotional, physical and psychological blanket to my Ex, I was his neck, shoulder and his head. This may come across as funny or phony I know. Oh, hell some of you all are probably laughing and I wouldn’t blame you! I thought I was in love. In loving this guy, I lost myself! I became the man! Paying bills and doing all shit. Future husband, I expect you to be the MAN in the relationship. Thank you.

My man should also be able to take care of my NEEDS. Needs can range from emotional, physical (sexual and otherwise), financial and every other thing in between. I am the kind of woman who loves completely, body and soul, no holding back. I love with everything I have and I expect same from my man. He shouldn’t only be concerned about satisfaction in the “other room”, he should also be about satisfaction in the other rooms as well.

I expect a man to be able to handle his woman’s SUCCESS. I have noticed that a lot of men get threatened a lot by their lady’s success. This means that I expect a man to be CONFIDENT in himself and his capabilities as an individual.

Ashley Wolfe

“Well to be honest I want to treat him the way he wants me to treat him love respectful loyal faithful funny understanding fun.”

Keke Waldon|Author,Relationship/Fashion Blogger

https://kekethefuturewife.com/

www.misskeyzbeautyreview.com

“I would expect honesty first off. It’s important to be completely honest with your partner. I also expect to have great communication. When you are honest and can communicate effectively with your partner then it is easier to trust them because you have been honest and the lines of communication is open and real.”

Rosanna Lundberg|Blogger, Writer, Author

https://pinaygoaldigger.com/

I believe we should set expectations in a relationship. Because I don’t think expectation means being difficult or demanding. It only shows that you know who you are as a women, you know your worth and what you deserve. And we should never settle for less.

And here are the 5 vital expectations I settled before I decided to marry my man.

1. Loyalty – My husband said ” I will never lay my hands on you and I will never betray you” and I expect him to do so. LOYALTY and TRUST is a foundation of a strong and healthy relationship. If you can’t trust your man that he will be loyal to you, then it will jeopardize your relationship with him.

2. Time – as other says Time is Love, and so am I. I know my husband and I are both busy with our career, hobbies and sometimes with friends. But we make sure to give time for us, and we talk about it. It should never be an issue if you truly love someone.

3. Genuine Intimacy – This doesn’t mean always about sex, but it’s deeper and more meaningful than sex. It’s about exploring and knowing more each other. A simple date night, or a simple kiss good night are some examples of a pure intimacy that makes our relationship deeper and stronger.

4. Communication – A real conversation is vital in our relationship. We never want a silent treatment, we make sure to talk about our feelings and emotions. Conversation with sincere listening and understanding is what I expect with my man and that makes our relationship more intimate and genuine.

5. Respect- I believe RESPECT is one important thing that we should expect from our man. We all have differences, but your man should respect you as person and for who you are. I am from the Philippines, and my husband is American, we have culture differences, but we respect each other’s culture and all many other differences we have.

Above all, we women should also do the same to our man, to make the relationship healthy and balance.

Thank you and best of luck to the LOVE that you all deserve!

Simone Reyes

“What I’ll consider as being spoiled is listening, quality time and going on a date or two a week communicate responsive.”

Aamber Sanchez

“Many people have different motives for getting into relationships. I myself crave emotional, compassionate, and intellectual vibes from a man. Let’s set goals, empower one another, have deep conversations, and build a healthy relationship. I don’t expect anything more than loyalty, honesty, and trustworthiness. Some may find money and sex as the key to a relationship but really what is that offering the two of you? Money cannot buy happiness and one can have sex at any point of time. I hope that you all take into consideration the things I have written upon when getting into a new relationship or even in your current.”

 

In Conclusion 

I like to thank everyone who participated and gave responses. Every one of them were absolutely amazing. I enjoyed reading them. And was actually surprised by the responses. “Honesty” and “Respect” were two words that seemingly kept popping up. Both are extremely important. Loyalty was another word that popped up as well. So basically to summarize. Be honest with them, respect them and don’t be out here cheating and everything will be alright. Like, Share and subscribe.

Also if you enjoyed this also check out “how do women liked to be spoiled” and “how do men liked to be spoiled”

And for the men what do you expect out of woman in a relationship? Comment below and you’ll be featured in the next article like this. Thank you and remember. “Love is confusing but we’ll get through it together.” 

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