LoveIsConfusing

"Love Is LOYALTY, SACRIFICE and COMPROMISE."

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3 tips for Self Improvement

 

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3 Tips For Self Improvement

Self improvement that’s what we all strive for right? At the beginning of this month everyone was screaming “New Year New Me!” Everyone had their New Years resolution to better themselves in whatever way. But how many people has actually followed through? It’s late January and I guarantee 75% of people has fell off the wagon already. Eating that donut they said they were going to avoid. Spending money on that donut that they said they were going to save. Saying to themselves “one donut won’t kill me.” Okay, okay that example is about me. I ate the donut….look it was chocolate frosted boston creme I couldn’t resist don’t judge me.

The point is its not always easy there are tons of distractions. Killing bad habits do not happen over night. A new year won’t make you magically a better person. Self Improvement takes time and dedication. It takes trial and error. It takes failure sometimes. As I touched in Three Steps To Loving Yourself. Improving ones self is key. You don’t have to wait until New Years to improve. Every day is an opportunity to be better. Every day is an opportunity to be stronger, mentality and physically. However it’s still a process.

Preparation

3 tips for self improvement

“An hour of preparation can save you a lifetime of problems.”

That’s my personal quote by the way. If you want to be a better person this is simply a must. There’s no way around it. Before you even start trying to change for the better you have to prepare. For example if you want that summer body. Do you just all of a sudden wake up and go to the gym. I mean yeah I guess its a great start. It’s great to show initiative. But I bet somewhere down the line. Something will distract you, throw you off and before you know it. You are back at square one making excuses. Why? Because you didn’t prepare.

Preparing makes you a more efficient person. Now say instead of just going to gym. You take an hour to figure out exactly what your weight loss or fitness goals are. You google what exercises are most efficient for your goals. What foods you should eat. And you outline what obstacles you may come across. Maybe the gym is pretty far from you or maybe your schedule may be a possible problem and you work on solutions. I guarantee that person has a much higher chance to succeed than the other person. Of course this seems like common sense. It’s obviously not rocket science but it’s an example of how powerful preparation can be.

I know its some people out there that think they don’t have to prepare. They can just waltz into that job interview without preparing and get that job easy. I mean I’ve done it before and countless others. But I’ve realized taking some time out to go over possible questions. Researching the company. Thinking of my own questions etc. Is more efficient than just going in there basically “naked.” And I’ve gotten more jobs that way as a result. Now what does all these examples have to do with self improvement?

Imagine if you took a little time to prepare every single day. That hour you spend on Facebook or that hour you spend watching netflix or youtube videos you instead spent mapping out your day. Outlining your obstacles and how to avoid them, your goals for that day, what you can do better. By doing this you learn to keep building great habits everyday which is honestly the key to continued success. Self Improvement doesn’t just happen nor is it easy. But by setting up some time to prepare it makes everything a whole lot more easier. You can eliminate potential problems and distractions before they even begin just by simply planning ahead. Preparation is key.

You are going to fail.

3 tips for self improvement

Yes you read that correctly. You are going fall off the “wagon.” You’re going to eat that “donut.” Bad habits are not so easily disposed of. If they were we would all be perfect. Failure isn’t a bad thing however. Nor is it the end of the world. It’s often a great learning experience. When I prepare for the next day now I can ask myself.”What caused me to eat that donut? “What can I do to avoid eating that donut next time?” “Why was I even in that situation to begin with?” The problem with people in diets and more importantly in life is once they fall off the wagon. They never get back on. They beat themselves up. They give up, they stop trying. All that progress they made becomes obsolete. Not realizing that things like this are normal.

The only real failure is if you actually accept failure. Like for example if you don’t get pass that job interview you prepared for and then just stop looking for work. Or if I eat that donut then the next day I give up and get another one. That’s when you truly fail. Self improvement isn’t about not making mistakes or not failing. Its what you do after you make your mistake. You have to understand. It takes people years and years to build bad habits and bad behaviors.

So what makes you think a month of parading around saying new year new me is going to make a permanent change. Every day will not be perfect. You are going to stumble one day and maybe fall the next but staying down is not an option. You find out what knocked you down and you make it your mission to not let it knock you down again. And if it does you keep trying different approaches. Every obstacle isn’t easily avoided. Some hurdles are harder to jump than others but with smart work and hard work you can get over the hump which leads me to my next point.

Work smarter not harder

3 tips for self improvement

It’s a strong belief that the hardest worker in the room reaps the biggest results. I disagree, it’s nothing wrong with being the hardest worker it’s actually a great thing. However it’s the smart worker that reaps the biggest results. The smart workers paces himself. Conserves his stamina. The smart worker is usually the most efficient. Knowing how to do the same amount of work in less time using less energy.

I’ll ask you this. When you look at most jobs or companies who does the most work? Who works the hardest? Usually its the “grunts” the guys in the entry level positions. The guys at the bottom of the food chain. The higher up the food chain you are the less “work” you have to do and also the more you get paid. The CEO isn’t out there bagging your groceries. The CEO isn’t out there in the elements freezing or sweating. The CEO isn’t out there mopping floors or dealing with angry customers. He’s likely somewhere behind a desk emailing someone to tell someone to tell someone to tell your supervisor to tell you and your fellow workers to pick up the pace. How did you think he became CEO in the first place by just working hard? He learned to work not just hard but also smarter.

Be the CEO of your life. Work smart. There are only 24 hours in a day and you spend a third of it sleeping so learn how to be efficient in everything you do. Whether it’s at work, school or at home. Preparation is key. By doing that you can brainstorm efficient solutions. Things that will save you time. Giving you time to do more and be more productive throughout the day. Also as I said before the smart worker paces himself. Sometimes it’s smarter to break things down. Make it easier for you. For example if you are writing a book. Do you write it in one day or do you maybe take it possibly a chapter or two a day? The later is the smarter choice. That way you won’t overwork yourself and have time to accomplish other things throughout the day.

In conclusion

There are alot more things to cover but I’ll cover it in another post or else you guys will be reading like a 5 page essay. Self improvement takes dedication and commitment. It’s not instant you can’t just snap your fingers and become a better person. You have to work hard and invest in yourself. And if you love yourself you’ll see its an investment worth taking. You want to work on being the best version of yourself everyday and you don’t need a new years resolution to make that decision.

I challenge you to start today on your road to becoming a better person every single day. Your future self will thank you for it. You will run into obstacles. You will fall. You will….fail. But you will dust yourself off everytime and get back on the wagon and keep going. I believe in you. You can do it. We can do it. Like,Share and Subscribe and remember “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together.”

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4 Ways To KEEP Her Happy

4 Ways To Keep Her Happy

 

 

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I have to say woman are very complicated. Yeah, I said it. However, I’ve learnt a lot when it comes to dealing with you. I’ve had many trials and errors trying to figure you out and guess what, I probably never will….and I’m ok what that. It’s one of the many reasons I love you all so much. You deserve all the happiness in relationships. But how can guys keep you women happy? We guys usually think we got all the answers.

Even a typical guy’s response to this is “Just give her the good ‘D’, buy her stuff, get her food and listen to her little problems.” Hmmm, it’s true.
I mean all those things would sound good to a woman, But one of those things I have learnt in women is that the little things they want are things that keep them happy in relationships.

Not only what you do but how you do it. Not about listening but how you listen to her. Not only your love for her but how you show it. I know you men are going to groan through this entire post if you even make it that far but try to listen and for the women get some popcorn and maybe get some tea out. Without further ado let’s move on to the four ways to keep her happy.

1. Spoil Her With Consistency.

Ok this happens alot. You start the dating stage and you’re taking her out places all the time. Bowling one day. Fancy dinner the next. You’re on the phone all night with her. You always make time to see her when you can. You listen to her problems, her fears, her goals. First time making love you put your A game on!(That was so cringy)

You give her attention when she wants you do all these things to make her happy then months into the relationship it just……stops. And no its not because you don’t feel the same way about her. You might even try to tell yourself that but no it’s because you got comfortable. She’s yours now right? She isn’t going anywhere and the “chase” is over.

You want to keep her happy? Then guess what? The chase is NEVER over. The same way you got her is the same way that you keep her. She goes slowly from a nice dinner and movie to netflix, takeout, sex and sleep. Don’t get me wrong its nothing wrong with chinese food and netflix with your girlfriend from time to time. My point is don’t get comfortable and start lacking the effort you put in from the beginning. The things that you did to get her whatever they were. Don’t stop doing it once you both make it official. If you put your A game in don’t start downgrading to your C game hell even your B game. Maybe an A- cause everyone has their off days.

When the only time you discuss intimately is when you have a serious issue, that means the relationship is crap. The things that you did to get her into the relationship matters, whatever they were, don’t stop doing it once you both make it official. If you put your A game in don’t start downgrading to your C game hell even your B game, try to maintain the A – cause everyone has their off days.

When you do that you are basically tricking her, she dated superman but you are just giving her Clark Kent. It happens in a lot of marriages as well, because once she say I do you know you got her. She isn’t going anywhere, so why try anymore, right? I understand things do change though. You might lose your job or life might just happen to you and you both can’t go out anymore to do stuff. It has happened to me in my relationship before, but mine’s deeper than that.

When you do that you are basically tricking her. She dated superman but you are just giving her Clark Kent. It happens in alot of marriages as well. Cause once she say I do you know you got her. She isn’t going anywhere so why try anymore, right? I understand things do change though. You might lose your job or life might just happen to you and you both can’t go out anymore to do stuff. It’s happened to me before but its deeper then that.

Like I said its the little things that count. Being superman isn’t just taking her out. Its being that same man you were at the beginning. Keep giving her that same attention. Keep giving her that same affection. Make it your mission to be that same guy that made her choose you out of every guy on this planet she could have chose.

2. Make Her Feel Safe Secure

You don’t have to be 6’4 250 punching or threatening every guy that looks in her direction to make her feel secure, (I guess it helps though). You can be 5’4 140 and make her feel like she is the most secure woman in the world. She’s not going to be happy if she isn’t. You have to make her feel like she is the only one and I don’t support this “side chick” trend that’s been going on so she better be the only one. I can hear the groans now, if she has to worry about your ex’s all the time, always have to feel the need to go through your phone or social media. She is not going to feel secure, she wants to feel as though she can trust you, like I said it’s the little things that turn into the big picture.

Her being secure is her knowing you got her back, understanding she can rely on you. If you’re the primary or only money maker in the relationship that all bills are paid, If there is an issue in her life she can talk to you and not only can she talk to you that you will actually listen to her and give her feedback if needed and work simultaneously on a solution. Compliments are always great even flirting, let her put her head on your chest and gist you about some challenges, doing pillow fight with her also go a long way. Yes, the chase doesn’t stop. Never let her doubt your loyalty, commitment or dedication.

You’re with her for a reason, she’s obviously special to you, so all I’m saying is if she is truly special, don’t tell her she is special. Don’t even tell it to Facebook, just show her everyday that she is special. Now I’m not telling you to kiss her ass or be a yes man to try to keep her. However, I will say this. If you kissed her ass to get her in. Don’t change up now Keep that chapstick on hand.

3. Paying Attention To The Little Things.

Little things matter, I can’t stress that enough. I probably said it like 10 times already. It’s very true though. Now I’ll say this ya’ll women ( yeah I’m talking to you now) do have the tendency to assume that we have psychic mind-reading powers and know exactly what you want and how you want it, when you want it. We’re not the X-men we do not have such power, but I will say this. If you pay attention to your woman, if you actually listen to her and chemistry with her helps too, you will know or at least have an idea of what she wants.

Buying her stuff is a nice gesture, but there is a difference between surprising her with random flowers and remembering a specific conversation, where she tells you “babe I really love lillies” and surprising her with all lillies. She’ll be happy because, one, it shows you were actually caring and two she got what she wanted. And if you do that with food she’ll be glowing the whole day. Of course, that takes times you probably won’t know these things on the first month of a relationship but listening does pay off in the long run.
Sex is great in a relationship, but sex is not everything, there’s more to it. A lot of guys even think intimacy is sex. When that’s just not to case. As said by the blogger at Put A Wedge In It on her blog post “Intimacy Does Not Equal Sex” There are other things you can do that can be intimate. Simply making out, dancing with her, singing into each other’s ear, helping her with something and cuddling, even just a simple walk in the park while holding hands can be intimate. Everyone is different however those things might not be her cup of tea. It’s both of your jobs to find out what’s makes intimate for both of you. It may not seem like much but things like that will certainly mean the world to her. Especially if she doesn’t need to ask for it.

4. Let Her know How Important She Is

One thing about women as a whole is in a relationship is that they want to be…..fun. Even your biggest introvert when she’s around you have her moments of goofiness and silliness. She doesn’t show that side to anyone else but you, which is a good thing cause that typically means she trusts and feels secure around you? Many guys want to be cool all the time, and when his girlfriend wants to be fun he shuts her down. Maybe he’s around his friends because he feels embarrassed or wants to be cool or by themselves.

What do I mean by fun though? Women sometimes do weird things. Anyone who lives with their partner can attest to this. From tickling you to touching your ass, dancing randomly butt-naked in the house, to even trying to grind on you from behind while you are brushing your teeth. It might not be that extreme but woman does weird stuff. Now I’m not saying you just sit there and be tickled. No, I’m not saying that, but women does not like to be boring. You tickle her back, Grab her booty, chase her around the house, grab her and dance with her. Don’t shut her down or push her away. Being that cool “statue” only works in movies, cartoons, and anime. In real life, you are just being lame. Have some fun with your woman to keep her happy.

Another way to make her feel important is to allow her to help you. We all have egos we all want to be that leader, but she can lead too. Even if she offers to help with something you know she doesn’t know how to do. Don’t shut her down, don’t chase her away, teach her or at the very least give her a role where she can still help you. If you are fixing something let her work on one part while you work on the other. Let her know what the tools do and how to use them if she doesn’t know. Hell, she might just surprise you. If she wants to be involved let her help sometimes you have to put that pride to the side. That’s something I’m still working on.

In conclusion

It’s not just about making her happy, it’s keeping her happy or better yet keeping each other happy. I can still hear the groans. I wonder how many men made it to the end of this. There will also be a “4 ways to keep him happy” post soon, so maybe they will like that one and stay tuned for it. Thank you, everyone, for the support. Comment below. Like, Share and if you really like my content Subscribe your email below to be a part of my email list it would really help out and also you get notified every time I post and remember, “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together”

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Brotherhood Of The World Bloggers Award!!!

So this is my second blogging award so I guess I’m doing something right. I’d like to give a shout out to JustBeingNessa for the nomination. If you haven’t checked her out you definitely should. She speaks on a alot of topics. I’m conviced she literally has a little something for everyone and everything. For you book lovers to relationships to weight loss. She even speaks on some things that will really have you thinking. But I won’t spoil it for you. Show her some love visit her at https://justbeingnessa.wordpress.com


Now for those who’s new to this. I will speak briefly on the rules. They are quite simple. The person who nominates me asks me a series of questions. I answer the questions and then I nominate others that I want to show love to and I ask them my own questions. Then they nominate people and the cycle continues. Now that you are familiar with the rules it is time to begin.

JustBeingNessa: Briefly explain your blogging style(where your favorite blogging spot/tools – as in, on the couch using your smartphone or something.

LoveIsConfusing: It depends. If I’m pulling an overnight shift and the traffic is low.(it usually is) Then I’ll typically work off of my smartphone. When I’m at home I’ll work off my laptop. I prefer the laptop though because in my opinion its easier and I can do more on it. Ironically though I use my phone more often because I’m hardly ever home so the smartphone option is more convenient for me.

JustBeingNessa: How do you manage your blogging time including reading time?

LoveIsConfusing: When you don’t have time in a short 24 hour day to realistically get things done what do you do? You prep. An hour of preparation can save you a lifetime of problems. At the beginning of the week I take an hour or more to brainstorm topics I might want to talk about. I do some outlines and drafts. I bounce some ideas off some friends. 
   

   Then I pick one day where I might have some free time to write usually that overnight shift and I get to writing. I will be honest though between school full time and working full time and this annoying thing called sleep. It is a struggle especially at first but prep makes my blogging life alot easier. As far as reading other blogs. I typically read on my down time.

JustBeingNessa: Who is your most read author?

LoveIsConfusing: Umm me of course!! Sarcasm and slight narcissism aside I’m not sure if I really have a favorite author or a most read one. But since this post is about showing some love to some blogs. I will give you one of my most read bloggers: IAmLoveXO. Positivity is kind of my theme for this new year and her blog OOZES positivity. If I’m feeling a little down. Her blog definitely is a nice little pick me up. Check her out you will not be disappointed

JustBeingNessa: How did you come up with your blog name?

LoveIsConfusing: I don’t have any crazy storys or epiphany that lead to me to this name…sorry. BUTT basically when I had to choose a domain name for the website I was just stuck. I knew what my niche was but I couldn’t settle on any name. So I texted my cousin up who was helping me put this together and asked for a list of names. She didn’t respond right away(As usual) 

     I knew a name was important. You know its your brand it’s what people were going to recognize you by. I brainstormed a bunch of names most included the word relationship. RelationshipBlog, Relationship this Relationship that. It was so generic. Then I thought, how about love? Love is generic as well but its broad enough for me to possibly go in alot of directions. 

   No one really knows what love is. Love Is confusing……..Love…Is…Confusing.  And Bam! I had a name that went from generic name to something that could possibly draw attention.  So yeah that’s how I got my name. And AFTER I got my domain name set up my cousin then responded with her list of names but I had already fallen in love with mines.

JustBeingNessa: What keeps you blogging?

LoveIsConfusing: When I first started. I was super stoked. I had my blog all set up. I had about four topics in advanced ready to be published. Told all my friends family. I was ready. I was new to this cold blogging world. I went into it blind. I went into it ignorant. A week went by at launch. I had about 6 total views. All from friends and family. I got discouraged. Why write if there’s no audience to read what you wrote. 
   I started to half ass write because I lacked motivation. No one was going to read it anyway I thought. I was going give up. However I had this one friend who legitimately loved what I wrote. Always asking me what I’m working on or hows the blog? I’d make excuses like I don’t have enough time and for every excuse she would give me a solution. “Oh, you don’t have enough time? Write on your way to work. Write a paragraph a day”
   

   I realized if one person believed in me that was all I needed. I started to do more research on blogging and got more traffic and a bigger audience joined groups and now everytime I get a nice comment saying how much they love my content or how much I might have helped them. It fuels me. That is my motivation.

Nominations

That’s it for my answers now its time for my nominations. 

Joan Cajic

MsQueenRo

IAmLoveXO

RelationshipPoint

Maya Moore 

My Questions

What is your biggest hurdle when it comes to blogging and how did you or how are you planning to solve it?

What is your expectations or goals for your blog this year.

What aspect of your blog do you think needs the most improvement?

What advice would you give to any new bloggers just starting out?

Do you think that Love Is Confusing?

In conclusion

Thats it for this post. Again I would like to thank JustBeingNessa for the nomination. Much love to you. And always congratulations to all the nominees. I appreciate all the hard work you have all put in. My this New Year bless us with the best of success and also same goes for my audience. Like, Share, Subscribe and remember “Love Is Confusing but we’ll figure it out together”













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4 steps to getting over a break up

 

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Break ups. It happens to all of us. Unless you meet the person of your dreams on the first try and now your happily married….lucky you. Or you never been in a relationship before….unlucky you? Whether you broke it off or they broke it off or it was mutually agreed upon. It can take a while to get over. Depending on how long you been with them and if you actually cared about them. But I will assume you did cause I’m gonna assume you are all good people.

It’s not easy. Alot of times its a process and sometimes people never recover from it. Break ups change people. I’ve seen it and experienced it myself but eventually you have to move on right? You can’t let that weight hold you down forever. You have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. So without further ado I present you with four steps to get over a break up.

Step 1: Love yourself

First step is loving yourself. I won’t get too in depth since I already spoke on this in 3 steps to loving yourself. But I’ll paraphrase. You’re single now. If you haven’t already now is the perfect chance to do some self reflection. After you finish crying in the shower and binge eating your cookies and creme ice-cream. Or getting drunk with your boys to “kill” the pain. You got to put the spotlight on yourself now. What do I like? What do I enjoy?

Like seriously you may be single but you have to date yourself. You have a bunch of free time now. Go out do what you enjoy. Go shopping or something maybe you want to change your look. Change yourstyle. The key is though getting your identity back or getting one in the first place. You don’t want to be single but still carry that relationship mindset. Also you don’t want to date someone new and in your head you are still stuck in your last relationship. It will not go well for you at all.

Step 2: Get some distance from your ex

Well this step is optional actually. Because there are some people that can’t cut off their ex. They may have children with them. They may have friends that are friends with their ex or they may even LIVE with them. ( Isn’t that the worse?) Also they may agree to stay friends with them. Lastly it may depend on if you ended the relationship on good terms of bad terms.

Good Terms

Even if you ended on good terms sometimes you may have to take a break from that person. Especially if you were or is still in love with them. Seriously being in love with someone your friends with can be torture. That transition from relationship to friendship isn’t always easy. One day they are calling you babe and the next they are calling you by…..your actual name. I don’t know maybe it’s me but I feel as though thats so hard to get used to. Taking a step back from that person might be a positive thing until you feel as though you can be around them and everything feels “natural” as can possibly be. Who knows maybe that time apart can help both of you and somewhere down the road you can get back together. Wishful thinking right?

Bad Terms

Now if you ended on bad terms. I’m talking about bad as in you two are enemies at this point. You found them in bed with someone else or shoot maybe they found you in bed with someone else. (This tea is very good right now) You and them are not getting back to together or even being friends again. I guess you can say that its obvious you would want to cut that person off or erase them from your life right? Alot of people still keep their exs at arms reach. Whether its because they still love them. Or want to get back at them or even hell the sex between them might be good so their still keeping that “window” open.

They’ll still follow them on social media. Number still in their phone. Some people are petty they want their ex to see them doing well. They may be hurt or bitter so they are showing them on social media what they are missing. Faking like you are happy to get attention when you are still holding on to the person. I believe you should erase that person. It’s hard to get over someone if the first thing you see on your phone is them on facebook. If you broke up on bad terms they need to exit your life completely. Maybe down the line you can be friends with them and forgive them. But for now it’s your time.

Step 3: Stay Busy

Some people say it takes 21 days to break a habit. Some people say it takes 3 months. Regardless there are habits you are going to have to break after a break up. Depending on how long you been with the person you are accustomed to certain things. That sweet text in the morning, talking to them everyday, waking up with them, going to sleep with them, eating their cooking and their annoying snoring etc. And that’s just basic stuff. Those first three weeks will be hell. You are not going to know what to do with yourself. Me personally being with someone for 3 years and thats not even long compared to alot of people. I couldn’t even function my whole day revolved around her. First person I talked to and usually the last person as well.

It was a very difficult adjustment. I had to keep busy. Either that or sit around feeling sorry for myself. I created new habits. Discovered new hobbies. I was always doing something. Too much time on my hands were deadly. I tried to keep busy with positive hobbies as well. Worked out everyday. I like to write so I wrote often. Went out with friends. Enjoyed myself. The idea behind it was if I kept myself busy eventually the habits would fade away. It was similar to getting over an addiction. I don’t know if it was 21 days 3 months or whenever but the habits eventually faded. Not to say I got over her but I definitely got over all those habits that included her.

Now I know some people may be saying. Well thats running away from your problems. Or being scared to face them. I look at it like this. When you cut yourself. You hurt you feel that pain but you always feel the worse pain when you look at it. Once you clean it out and get a band aid and cover it up you feel less pain. Do you take off the band aid every five minutes to look at this cut? No you live your life you stay busy you sometimes forget the cut even exist then days later you notice your bandaid and you take it off and your cut is healed. Sometimes its good to keep your mind busy while your heart heals.

Step 4: Talk to other people

*This step is only to be taken after you followed all the previous steps.*

After you regained your identity. Possibly got some distance from your ex and got over your old relationship habits. Who’s to say that you have to be alone. Now while I don’t believe that you should just rush into a relationship. It’s nothing wrong with talking to someone. It’s nothing wrong with going out on dates or outings. Hey I’m going be honest sometimes the best way to get over someone is to talk to someone else. That companionship could be a good thing for you.

Loving Yourself

By learning to love yourself and regaining your identity after the break up. Not only will you know your worth but after self reflection you will identify the problems from your last relationship and it may be easier to point out red flags as you look for your next partner. Loving your self will aid you in learning how to love others and you will hold your next partner to a higher standard.

Gaining distance

Distancing yourself from your ex for a bit will help get your ex from dominanting your thoughts. You don’t want to be on a date. Or talking to someone and you subconsciously bring your ex with you. Always bringing them up in conversation. That’s a huge turnoff and could make that person fall back from you. Or going on a date with someone just to one up your ex. Taking pictures and posting it up so they can see it. It’s not fair to the other person for them to be apart of your game and only person that truly suffers is you.

Abadoning previous relationship habits

By getting over your relationship habits you don’t potentially bring it into the next one. You have to know your worth but you can’t bring expectations from your last relationship to the next one. You might have watched Game Of Thrones with your ex boyfriend 8:00 every thursday while getting a back massage. That’s doesn’t mean your next partner has to do it. Your ex girlfriend might run your bath water and prepare a mean 3 course dinner 9:00 every night after work. You might have to get used to take out or cooking yourself and using your legs to run your own bathwater.

Conclusion

In conclusion everyone is different and you don’t want to bring your old relationship into your potentially new one. You want a fresh start, a new beginning. Its tough getting over a relationship. Especially if you loved the person or the relationship ended badly. It’s alot easier said then done. It’s a mental and an emotional battle to say the least. Hopefully these steps will help aid you in getting over that relationship. You don’t want a failed relationship holding you back on life or even holding you back from that special someone. I hope you enjoyed this. Love to hear your comments. Like, Share and if you really like my content Subscribe your email below to be apart of my email list it would really help out and also you get notified everytime I post. Have a great day and remember, “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together.”

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Love and Hate: Two sides of the same coin.

 

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Happy New Years!! Yeah Yeah I know I’m late. Lol

Last post I spoke on the differences between sex and love. And addressed the misconception that they were similar. This post I will now speak on has two opposite emotions. Love and Hate. But are they really that different? Is there really such a huge gap between loving someone and hating someone. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t think they are the same thing however there are alot similarities and I will address them.

Both garners a reaction.

In order for you to love someone you have to care about them. I mean thats obvious right? They bring a smile to your face and butterflies in your belly. However when you hate someone you care about them too. Maybe not in a “I want to do nice things for you” type of care. But that person or thing dominates your mind and can quite possibly ruin your day. I think back to anyone that I can remember ever hating before. Everyone that was worth eliciting such emotion from me. Most were ex’s or someone I shared close bonds with like an old friend.

There were also people that didn’t fit that category. Like people I would see on the news or around me that would do horrible things. For example rapist, murderers people in that category. However I still cared. They still mattered to me. Not in a positive way but they were something I spent my time thinking about. Spending my precious time discussing to a friend or sometimes even on social media. They got a reaction out of me and that’s the key word “reaction.” Whether it was me wanting revenge or justice I felt something. The opposite of love is not caring. Which I think suprisingly is the opposite of hating as well.

Love and Hate sells

 I said before that love sells. Hate is no different. The media uses it all the time. Because just like love. Hating gets a reaction out of you. The most popular people tend to be the most polarizing. In sports you look at Lebron James, Tom Brady and Lavar Ball either you love them or hate them. Lavar Ball is probably more hated than loved and yet he has been talked about all the time in sports media for that exact reason. He even had President Trump call him out.

But maybe you don’t know who Lavar Ball you might not even know who Lebron James is but everyone knows President Trump. Now I’m not here to talk politics but just reading that name alone elicits a reaction. He is the most polarizing man alive in America at the moment in my opinion. He’s a man that makes headlines based off the hate he recieves. As much as people may not like to admit it……people care about him. You read the comment section of anything relating to him and you have grown people who takes time out of their day to write paragraphs about how much they can’t stand him and argue with the people who supports him. That hate sells as it gets him more attention and whatever media outlet that covers him also reaps the benefits.

“Hate Is confused admiration”

 

Love is confusing but hate really is as well. You ever have that person that’s always judging you.  Always have something negative to say. You are always the topic of discussion. There is that hint of jealousy and envy from the person. Guest what? That person might be one of your biggest fans and the crazy part is sometimes they might not even know that. You’re thinking that they are looking down on you but they are actually looking up to you. It’s like that boy in middle school that’s always mean to the girl but likes her but don’t know how to say it.

Human psychology is weird to say the least. Seriously some people mess with you because they like you and don’t know how to express those feelings. And I’m not even talking about romantic feelings they might just like you as a person. They might even be obsessed over you for whatever reason.

They both make you do questionable things.

There are things you only do when you love someone. It can range from walking almost half the city to see them in a thunderstorm in my case. To doing some really crazy stuff like destroying property or some borderline pyscho stuff. Things that you look back and think to yourself damn did I really do that for that person. Or you may look back at his slashed tires and broken windows and say did I really do that to that person.

Emotions tend to get the better of us.
There are things you do when you hate someone that you may or may not regret later on. You may wish harm on them. Or might even actually do harm to them. But it all goes back to my earlier paragraph. It gets a reaction out of you. You get out of character you do and say things that you otherwise wouldn’t. Both love and hate brings the animal out of us sometimes in different ways and sometimes in similar ways.

 

In Conclusion when I look at love and hate I see two sides of the same coin. They are both linked. This might of been my hardest post to write because both emotions of love and hate are honestly just so complex and people have their own definitions of both. Some people like to be hated some people like to be loved. Both garners attention from people. I have an interesting question for everyone. Would you rather be hated or not cared about at all? Thank you for reading. Like, Share and if you really like my content Subscribe your email below to be apart of my email list it would really help out and also you get notified everytime I post. Have a great day and remember, “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together.”

 

 

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