LoveIsConfusing

"Love Is LOYALTY, SACRIFICE and COMPROMISE."

Love

How Do Men LOVE To be SPOILED in a relationship

How do men love to be spoiled

I’d like to thank the men today for being apart of this article. Even if it was like pulling teeth to get this information from you. But I understand for us men it’s tough for us to be open about things like this. Showing our “sensitive” side I guess. But I really appreciate the collaboration with all of you.

I asked these men, “How do you like to be spoiled by women in a relationship” and here are their responses.

Steve Ransom

“I’ve done it all for women but the greatest thing you can spoil them with isn’t money or material items it’s three things attention, respect and affection. I believe woman can agree on this that would love it if their man spends time with them agree on this that would love it if their man spends time with them or just be around I believe those three are the key to any relationship also the greatest way to open the door for intimacy as well.”

James Knight

“I’m simple, a date night once a week sounds good. But I can’t really say though because I don’t know what it’s like. I’m usually the ONE that does the spoiling.”

Donovan Quinn

“What I would like from my women is someone who can help me become the best version of myself. I think we should be able to help each other grow and that process should be fun as well. I think communication is very important because that is how i stay on the same page with my significant other to make sure we are growing the same direction. And I also expect to receive head every Thursday at 7 am. But most importantly I feel like I expect respect and value. Feeling valued is very important because no one wants to feel unappreciated.”

James Bullock

“I like getting spoiled by my wife in a few different ways. One I like when she takes cares of things around the house like washing and hanging up my clothes and cooking dinner. She always prepares my lunches every day and makes sure I dont have to worry about going hungry because I often have 12-18 hour days.”

Dom Lundy

“Hmm I never really thought about being spoiled but if I really had to think on it there are a lot of things that I do look forward to making me happy when I’m in a relationship and the main one is communicating I think if she talks to me everyday like at night it gives me a chance to sleep with less in my mind. Food is major I love a woman who can cook and makes sure I’m fed. I know I’m like a kid but that’s definitely a way to steal my heart cooking and baking and finally I know I’m gonna sound like every other dude but I at least need sex on Monday it’s a good way to start the week not cranky stress relieved and I’d be able to put my best forward though out the week I’m really complicated but If a woman does that for me I’d feel special and spoiled and I’d definitely do things for her.”

Dimitar Mrkojevic

“Yes, I love when she cooks for me and massages me, and just spends one on one time with me.”

Xavier Young

“I think I get spoiled by all the little things. Just giving me the attention, the love and respect that you would usually give your man is enough for me……BUTTT that’s the boring response. Gifts are always dope. I love spontaneous gifts and surprises and yes by suprises I mean the sexual kinds as well. Women that cook are a blessing. Food is definitely the key to my heart. Massages are great especially if they result in a “Happy Ending.” I even feel spoiled when things are tough and she’s there to listen to me blab about whatever I may be going through at the moment. Communication is also very important to me.”

In Conclusion

After reading the responses I got. I’ve realized that we all pretty much want the same thing, Men and Women. We both want affection. We both want communication. We both want love. We may have our own personal little quirks. But we all love getting spoiled by our significant others and spoiling eachother from time to time is a sign of a very healthy relationship….as long as it’s not one-sided.

Again thanks for all the guys that helped out. Also if you enjoyed this you’ll also enjoy “How do women loved to be spoiled”

Like, Share and Subscribe and remember “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together“

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Infatuation Vs Love: What Is Infatuation?

Infatuation vs love

Love is confusing. That’s the name of this site and also the name of my brand in general. It’s also the whole purpose of this site to explain why love is so confusing. In the past I have touched on Love vs Sex, Love vs Lust, Love vs Hate, and Love vs Obsession. Today I will be sharing my brief thoughts on Love vs Infatuation.

What is Infatuation?

According to the Cambridge Dictionary. Infatuation is when “You have strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction.” When you think of the definition it takes you back to high school.

Puppy Love

Infatuation vs Love

You know, when you were going through that puppy love stage of your life. Whether it was your huge crush on the most popular boy in school. Or as a boy you were sexually attracted to the cheerleader in your school. You were deeply infatuated with that person however it probably didn’t last long. Eventually you got over them and wanted the next boy or cheerleader. And that’s just highschool. People as adults do this all the time.

Typically when you first start dating. It’s all based off infatuation. When I touched on Love at first sight. I eluded to the fact that love takes time. And that when you meet someone usually it’s something that draws you to them. Whether it’s their physical appearance. Or simply how they carry themselves. It draws you to them and eventually over time it may lead to you loving them. Before that love kicks in. It starts out as infatuation or what most people call….Puppy Love.

Love Vs Infatuation

Infatuation vs Love

I feel as though you get similar feelings for both. To be honest you probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference until some time has past. With infatuation the feeling can easily wear off and then you lose interest and move on to the next thing.

The problem is however that some people rush into relationships or even marriage thinking it’s love and then realizing quickly afterwards that it was just infatuation. The weird thing is most of the time love starts off as infatuation. So infatuation isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You just want to catch yourself because the feelings can be similar.

With infatuation it generally stems from, lust, sex, or obsession. It could be one of these three or all three of them. You have to ask yourself. What is the main reason why I am so interested in this individual? If it’s one of these three you could be just be simply infatuated with the person.

You tend to get hooked by this person even though you may know nothing about them. You put them on a pedestal painting them as this perfect person in your life. Thinking to yourself that you may have won the lottery or found that needle in the haystack.

Whether you are with the person or simply dating you tend to live in the now rather than waiting. You want to be with this person NOW. You want them to love you immediate and you want them to drop everything and commit to you at a moment’s notice.

With infatuation you only see how the relationship benefits you rather than how it affects you as a whole. You also may develop jealousy where even though you may not even be with the person yet that you’ll become angry at who he or she is friends with or even other people that they may be interested in besides you.

In conclusion

Infatuation vs Love

Infatuation isn’t always a bad thing. It could be something innocent as puppy love. Where you’re interested for a little while then you move on. However it could also develop into an obsession which I’ve touched on in an previous article. Ironically it can also evolve into love. I think at some point everyone eventually goes through that infatuation stage.

Think about the person you’re with now. You both were first infatuated with eachother got to know eachother and now you’re in a loving relationship or marriage. Thank you for reading. Like, Share and Subscribe and remember “Love Is Confusing But We Can Get Through This Together.”

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Three ways to help solve an Argument between you and your Partner

I always say the relationship doesn’t start until your first serious argument or disagreement. Because that usually tells you how the rest of the relationship will go. How you and your partner reacts and handles this problem will reveal things about eachother that you may previously hadn’t known. For just that reason alone I don’t consider disputes a bad thing. If anything a healthy dose of arguments can be a great building block for a healthy relationship. I see couples who say they never argue or have disputes then when the first problem arises they break up quickly. However of course too much of anything becomes a bad thing and arguing is no different.

The problem with disagreements aren’t the disagreements that you may have. It’s how you and the person handle the disagreements. If you get angry and start screaming at person calling them names, yelling obscenities then thats probably the wrong way to go about it. Of course I understand that everyone’s personalities are different people react to things differently. Some people are more…”explosive” than others. However there are ways to go about solving arguments outside of the usual verbal attacks on eachother which is the point of this post. “Three ways to help solve an Argument between you and your Partner”.

Space

Sometimes when an argument pops off the initial reaction is chaos. Alot of emotion, anger, voice raising, all that jazz. Sometimes the person you love can bring the worst out of you or you can bring the worst out of them….it happens. Before the argument reaches it’s fevers pitch try to get some space. Get away for a second to calm down. The reason I say this is because when you are angry you are prone to say or do things that you may regret. You can’t take back words. It gives you a little time to sit back and think about why you are even having this dispute in the first place.

After you get space you may feel a little different about the whole situation. You’ll be able to choose your words better. Hell you might not even be mad any more and will be more likely to talk things out peacefully. It’s nothing wrong with taking a quick walk to clear your head. Or even shutting your phone down for a couple of hours just to calm down. However eventually you’ll have to face your partner so also keep that in mind. However there may be situations where you may not being able to get away. Or the person won’t let you get away to get space and proceed. That leads me to number 2.

Listening to your partner

When you are going through your little quarrels with bae and both of you are trying to get your point across at the same time. It doesn’t go anywhere. Yes yes I know a lot of you are people that HAS to have the last word in an argument but alot of times if you just simply listen to what the other person is saying it could help you both find a solution to whatever your problems are. And by listening not just hearing the words but actually pay attention to what they are saying, Their hand and body movements and their tone. You have to understand them. You have to understand what they are arguing about.

Now after you actually listen to whatever concerns they may have and also understand their point of view. Even if you still don’t agree because you listened you now have a better counter argument. You can tell he or she why they are wrong. Or why you don’t agree with their opinion. And because you let them say everything they had to say. While you are making your counter point, your partner will usually let you speak(hopefully) so you can now get your point across to them. This way you are both voicing your concerns like adults rather than two angry children. And hopefully you both can find a common ground. Which leads me into my final point.

Make sure the argument is resolved!

This is very important. If you let the argument linger it could cause serious problems. If you feel as though your partner isn’t giving you enough attention and you argue about it but it doesn’t get resolved. For one thing you probably still aren’t getting the attention from the person are you? On top of that it’s an argument that’s going to keep popping up every time you’re mad.

Hell you’ll have new arguments and you’ll still pull out that “two month old” argument on top of it. Arguments in a relationship needs closure.
Whether it’s with an apology from someone. Or BOTH of you acknowledging that things have to change that way it won’t lead to future arguments. Then afterwards you can cuddle. Laugh about it and maybe even have some make up sex.*Shrugs*

In conclusion

Relationships are tough but it’s nothing wrong with making things a little simpler. All couples argue It’s gonna happen but like I said earlier. It’s how you and your partner handle the arguments. That’s what really matters at the end of the day. Like, Share and Subscribe and remember “Love is confusing but we’ll get through it together.”

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Why being “In Love” isn’t always a good thing.

Being in love.jpg

Why being “In Love” isn’t always a good thing

“So, what really is this thing called love? Well, in my opinion, it’s this thing that turns you into some happy-go-lucky idiot. Like seriously, it separates you from logic and common sense and turns you into someone you didn’t know was there.” That was a quote from my first ever post “Love.” Since that day I’ve grown and matured and I realized something. It’s not Love that’s dangerous. Love is a great thing.

Everyone should love. Whether it’s the love you have for your dog or cat. The love you have for your family or even a more intimate love that you may have for your partner. However too much of anything can easily become a bad thing. Too much of a good feeling can become an addiction. Which leads me to my point on why being in love isn’t always a good thing.

Being In Love Is An Addiction…..

Why being

Love is one thing but what happens when you fall in love with someone. Hell what happens when you fall in love with anything? You can’t get enough of it. It’s the first thing you think about and last thing you think about everyday.

I used to think that being in Love was the next step from actually Loving someone. I thought it was levels to this. You like them, you love them, and then you fall in love with them, “The End”. But I’ve realized that being “In Love”. Is actually something completely different than liking and Loving someone. It’s in its own category.

Though it may share the same name as Love it’s just a mask for what it truly is…..an addiction. No different then any drug. No different than that cigarette you have to smoke on that lunch break. No different than any show you’ve binged watched in one day. You almost can’t function without it. Unlike most addictions however being in Love is usually looked at as a positive.

It’s almost essential considering that we are all looking for someone to fall in Love with and be married. That’s our end goal. Unless your hearts been broken you usually don’t look at it as a bad thing. You want to fall in love with someone and them fall in love with you.

The Danger Of Being In Love

Why being

Being in Love with a person is also one of the most powerful addictions. When you’re addicted to something like an object or a thing. For example if you’re in love with shopping as long as you have the money it’s nothing that can stop you from fulfilling that addiction. If you’re in love with cheesecake you are going to get your cheesecake. However when you are in love with a person that person can reject you.

And sometimes when you are addicted to something or someone and can’t get it. It only makes you want it much more. Which can lead to very dangerous scenerios if you can get it. You may harm the person you may even harm yourself you may hurt people close to you. Also another sign of an addiction is you may not even know that you are hurting anyone. You become oblivious.

I’ve had someone close to me. Who was in an abusive relationship. She had one of those controlling type men. They got into fights. He would leave bruises even beat her kids. They would break up for bit but she would always come back. So when she broke down to me and told me everything that was going on I asked her “Why do you keep going back, why do you keep putting yourself in this situation?”

And she replied “He’s the only man I’ve ever fell in Love with. Everytime I leave. Something just drags me backs.” Now this is years ago. She’s doing great now but at the time she was so addicted or in Love with this guy. That she couldn’t see the damage she was causing to herself and people around her and even once she did she didn’t have the strength or the will power to get free.

When You’re Both In Love…

Why being

Now when it comes to two people in love with eachother it’s not always a bad thing. I’ve seen people married in love live happily and die happily together. However it can also be a very toxic situation. When you love something or someone. You love them dispite their flaws. Not only that. You also understand their flaws.

You may love burgers and french fries but you understand that too much will affect your health and add to your waistline. When you’re in love with something you ignore the flaws and fail to understand them. You don’t care if fries and burgers aren’t good for you. You just have to have it everyday.

That’s what leads to toxic relationships. What happens when you have two people together that ignore each others flaws? Then they may not comprehend the fact that they may not be right for each other. Then it eventually leads to relationships where either they think they are happy or they know they aren’t but still can’t break up from each other. Trust me you ignore alot of BS when you are in love with someone.

And usually when or if the addiction ends that’s when you start really seeing them for who they really are because you have ignored it for so long you forget their bad traits were even there.

In conclusion, I’m not saying relationships are bad or love is bad but too much of anything becomes a bad thing. It’s very easy to lose yourself and extremely hard to even realize that you’ve lost yourself. Anything can become an addiction even the person laying next to you every night. Like, Share, and Subcribe and remember “Love is confusing but we’ll get through this together.”

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4 Ways To KEEP Her Happy

4 Ways To Keep Her Happy

 

 

4 ways to keep her happy.jpg

 

I have to say woman are very complicated. Yeah, I said it. However, I’ve learnt a lot when it comes to dealing with you. I’ve had many trials and errors trying to figure you out and guess what, I probably never will….and I’m ok what that. It’s one of the many reasons I love you all so much. You deserve all the happiness in relationships. But how can guys keep you women happy? We guys usually think we got all the answers.

Even a typical guy’s response to this is “Just give her the good ‘D’, buy her stuff, get her food and listen to her little problems.” Hmmm, it’s true.
I mean all those things would sound good to a woman, But one of those things I have learnt in women is that the little things they want are things that keep them happy in relationships.

Not only what you do but how you do it. Not about listening but how you listen to her. Not only your love for her but how you show it. I know you men are going to groan through this entire post if you even make it that far but try to listen and for the women get some popcorn and maybe get some tea out. Without further ado let’s move on to the four ways to keep her happy.

1. Spoil Her With Consistency.

Ok this happens alot. You start the dating stage and you’re taking her out places all the time. Bowling one day. Fancy dinner the next. You’re on the phone all night with her. You always make time to see her when you can. You listen to her problems, her fears, her goals. First time making love you put your A game on!(That was so cringy)

You give her attention when she wants you do all these things to make her happy then months into the relationship it just……stops. And no its not because you don’t feel the same way about her. You might even try to tell yourself that but no it’s because you got comfortable. She’s yours now right? She isn’t going anywhere and the “chase” is over.

You want to keep her happy? Then guess what? The chase is NEVER over. The same way you got her is the same way that you keep her. She goes slowly from a nice dinner and movie to netflix, takeout, sex and sleep. Don’t get me wrong its nothing wrong with chinese food and netflix with your girlfriend from time to time. My point is don’t get comfortable and start lacking the effort you put in from the beginning. The things that you did to get her whatever they were. Don’t stop doing it once you both make it official. If you put your A game in don’t start downgrading to your C game hell even your B game. Maybe an A- cause everyone has their off days.

When the only time you discuss intimately is when you have a serious issue, that means the relationship is crap. The things that you did to get her into the relationship matters, whatever they were, don’t stop doing it once you both make it official. If you put your A game in don’t start downgrading to your C game hell even your B game, try to maintain the A – cause everyone has their off days.

When you do that you are basically tricking her, she dated superman but you are just giving her Clark Kent. It happens in a lot of marriages as well, because once she say I do you know you got her. She isn’t going anywhere, so why try anymore, right? I understand things do change though. You might lose your job or life might just happen to you and you both can’t go out anymore to do stuff. It has happened to me in my relationship before, but mine’s deeper than that.

When you do that you are basically tricking her. She dated superman but you are just giving her Clark Kent. It happens in alot of marriages as well. Cause once she say I do you know you got her. She isn’t going anywhere so why try anymore, right? I understand things do change though. You might lose your job or life might just happen to you and you both can’t go out anymore to do stuff. It’s happened to me before but its deeper then that.

Like I said its the little things that count. Being superman isn’t just taking her out. Its being that same man you were at the beginning. Keep giving her that same attention. Keep giving her that same affection. Make it your mission to be that same guy that made her choose you out of every guy on this planet she could have chose.

2. Make Her Feel Safe Secure

You don’t have to be 6’4 250 punching or threatening every guy that looks in her direction to make her feel secure, (I guess it helps though). You can be 5’4 140 and make her feel like she is the most secure woman in the world. She’s not going to be happy if she isn’t. You have to make her feel like she is the only one and I don’t support this “side chick” trend that’s been going on so she better be the only one. I can hear the groans now, if she has to worry about your ex’s all the time, always have to feel the need to go through your phone or social media. She is not going to feel secure, she wants to feel as though she can trust you, like I said it’s the little things that turn into the big picture.

Her being secure is her knowing you got her back, understanding she can rely on you. If you’re the primary or only money maker in the relationship that all bills are paid, If there is an issue in her life she can talk to you and not only can she talk to you that you will actually listen to her and give her feedback if needed and work simultaneously on a solution. Compliments are always great even flirting, let her put her head on your chest and gist you about some challenges, doing pillow fight with her also go a long way. Yes, the chase doesn’t stop. Never let her doubt your loyalty, commitment or dedication.

You’re with her for a reason, she’s obviously special to you, so all I’m saying is if she is truly special, don’t tell her she is special. Don’t even tell it to Facebook, just show her everyday that she is special. Now I’m not telling you to kiss her ass or be a yes man to try to keep her. However, I will say this. If you kissed her ass to get her in. Don’t change up now Keep that chapstick on hand.

3. Paying Attention To The Little Things.

Little things matter, I can’t stress that enough. I probably said it like 10 times already. It’s very true though. Now I’ll say this ya’ll women ( yeah I’m talking to you now) do have the tendency to assume that we have psychic mind-reading powers and know exactly what you want and how you want it, when you want it. We’re not the X-men we do not have such power, but I will say this. If you pay attention to your woman, if you actually listen to her and chemistry with her helps too, you will know or at least have an idea of what she wants.

Buying her stuff is a nice gesture, but there is a difference between surprising her with random flowers and remembering a specific conversation, where she tells you “babe I really love lillies” and surprising her with all lillies. She’ll be happy because, one, it shows you were actually caring and two she got what she wanted. And if you do that with food she’ll be glowing the whole day. Of course, that takes times you probably won’t know these things on the first month of a relationship but listening does pay off in the long run.
Sex is great in a relationship, but sex is not everything, there’s more to it. A lot of guys even think intimacy is sex. When that’s just not to case. As said by the blogger at Put A Wedge In It on her blog post “Intimacy Does Not Equal Sex” There are other things you can do that can be intimate. Simply making out, dancing with her, singing into each other’s ear, helping her with something and cuddling, even just a simple walk in the park while holding hands can be intimate. Everyone is different however those things might not be her cup of tea. It’s both of your jobs to find out what’s makes intimate for both of you. It may not seem like much but things like that will certainly mean the world to her. Especially if she doesn’t need to ask for it.

4. Let Her know How Important She Is

One thing about women as a whole is in a relationship is that they want to be…..fun. Even your biggest introvert when she’s around you have her moments of goofiness and silliness. She doesn’t show that side to anyone else but you, which is a good thing cause that typically means she trusts and feels secure around you? Many guys want to be cool all the time, and when his girlfriend wants to be fun he shuts her down. Maybe he’s around his friends because he feels embarrassed or wants to be cool or by themselves.

What do I mean by fun though? Women sometimes do weird things. Anyone who lives with their partner can attest to this. From tickling you to touching your ass, dancing randomly butt-naked in the house, to even trying to grind on you from behind while you are brushing your teeth. It might not be that extreme but woman does weird stuff. Now I’m not saying you just sit there and be tickled. No, I’m not saying that, but women does not like to be boring. You tickle her back, Grab her booty, chase her around the house, grab her and dance with her. Don’t shut her down or push her away. Being that cool “statue” only works in movies, cartoons, and anime. In real life, you are just being lame. Have some fun with your woman to keep her happy.

Another way to make her feel important is to allow her to help you. We all have egos we all want to be that leader, but she can lead too. Even if she offers to help with something you know she doesn’t know how to do. Don’t shut her down, don’t chase her away, teach her or at the very least give her a role where she can still help you. If you are fixing something let her work on one part while you work on the other. Let her know what the tools do and how to use them if she doesn’t know. Hell, she might just surprise you. If she wants to be involved let her help sometimes you have to put that pride to the side. That’s something I’m still working on.

In conclusion

It’s not just about making her happy, it’s keeping her happy or better yet keeping each other happy. I can still hear the groans. I wonder how many men made it to the end of this. There will also be a “4 ways to keep him happy” post soon, so maybe they will like that one and stay tuned for it. Thank you, everyone, for the support. Comment below. Like, Share and if you really like my content Subscribe your email below to be a part of my email list it would really help out and also you get notified every time I post and remember, “Love Is Confusing But We’ll Get Through It Together”

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